Pieces Of You, Of Us
by Lynnth2014
Summary: This takes place after the prison fell, Daryl and Beth are tracking Ty and the girls, and they find themselves in a tight spot.
1. Infected

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

––

Daryl and Beth walked the train tracks, Beth kept quiet, and Daryl looked for any tracks of any of their people. They'd been walking for days, and they were supposed to be hungry, but with the news of Carol and watching Hershel be decapitated stifled any hunger that spiked up in their stomachs.

It was hot, dry and lonely. Even with Daryl so close so close, Beth felt all alone. It was a deep, icy feeling, and it made the heat from the sun lessen. She didn't have any thoughts about her father. After the breakdown the other day, she didn't think much of him, just how to get the others back and where in the hell were they going to go. She couldn't take another place they called home being lost to walkers. She could keep telling herself she had a job to do over and over again, but it didn't change the fact that her father was dead, that her sister and brother-in-law and everyone else were scattered. They had no backup plan. The only reason they all went to the highway was because of Carol's little girl being lost there. That was sheer luck. Where in the hell was their luck now?

When they drove up to the prison and found the gate missing, Daryl had expected the worst thing that could happen was Rick or Carl had gotten bit. He didn't know he would find out Carol killed Karen and David, he didn't know the Governor and his merry group of assholes would come and destroy the prison. He thought the worst thing that could happen was some of their people died from the flu, but no, the world showed him just how bad it can get again.

He glanced over at the trees, but it was just the wind, not a walker. He sighed soundlessly. He couldn't get the picture of Carol stabbing Karen and David, dragging them out of solitary and setting them on fire, watching the flames devour their empty shells before leaving to clean up any blood she may have gotten on herself. He didn't know who killed them, but he sure as hell couldn't believe it was Carol. She owned up to it, but did she really do it? Did she kill them just to protect the group? Or was there more to the story? He would never know now. The prison was gone, his family was either wounded and scattered or dead and being eaten off of. And with Beth being here... He wondered if he should be on suicide watch. The last time she lost a sibling and parent, she took a piece of broken mirror to her arm, because she thought it was hopeless. Had her mind changed since then? She didn't cry anymore, she'd told him. Maybe her mental state was even worse now.

"Are these tracks?" Beth asked, peering through the leaves at the marks in the drying mud.

He bent down. "Yeah. Fresh too. Looks like two people came through here."

"Then let's go." She pushed the branch back and followed the tracks into the shade of the woods.

He fell into step beside her. He had a bad feeling about everything now. Losing so much...coming this far, he was wondering if there was a point to it. If there was, he would be there to see what in the hell it was. Him and whoever they found, because they would find them, eventually they would.

"Look." Beth pointed to the walkers on the ground.

He spotted some blood on some leaves. "That ain't walker blood."

"So, they took 'em out." Beth stepped over the bodies. "Keep goin'."

_**Snap**_.

Beth drew her knife and turned as a walker stumbled toward them, Daryl removed his crossbow, but Beth took it out. She thrust the blade into into the skull, it was hard and that meant he was a newborn walker. There was more around, because he had a gashing wound on his arm.

Daryl saw another one and shot it with a bolt, reloading.

"What the...?" Beth stared as more walkers flooded out of the woods. "Oh, shit! Daryl!"

He looked up through his bangs and killed the walker closest to him then pushed Beth forward and ran. They didn't get far. Walkers were closing in on them, Beth gripped her knife tightly, and Daryl was counting the arrows he had in his mind as they got closer and closer.

– – –

Carol watched as the prison fell, black smoke lifting into the sky, people scrambling, and walkers making their way toward fresh food. She saw the girls run off, but she couldn't see where they went to, especially through the smoke.

She saw Daryl and Beth running off. It must be worse down there, for Daryl to run. She could only see so much, but the damage she did see...all because of one sick bastard who wanted to play house. She'd seen the woman he was with and the child he killed. Son of a bitch. If only Merle had gone through with his plan...this wouldn't have happened, and a lot of good people would have been spared, but oh well. Nothing could done now.

She waited for the girls to reappear, and when they didn't, she left. She went around to the back to follow them. There was only one exit back there, so it would be easy to follow them.

That was two days ago. She hadn't seen them since the prison, and she concerned. She'd found a set of tracks that led toward the rail road, so she followed them. It was a man and a girl. She couldn't be sure if it was a woman or a child, bu by the way she stepped, she was small. It wasn't Lizzie or Mika. They were too small. She picked up her pace.

She stopped in mid-step at the sound of a walker, and she turned, but the walker passed her by. She frowned and looked in the way it was walking. There people down there. She recognized that blond hair and gasped. Beth! She saw Daryl, and her heart fell to her stomach as she saw the number of walkers closing in on them. She grabbed her gun and ran over to them, taking out the walkers when she could.

Daryl jerked his knife out of the walker in front of him and looked over as Carol came to them. He watched for a split second as she took out walkers then he pushed Beth back and tried to protect them both. Beth took out the walker to her right, and Carol had thinned out the herd. There were a dozen or so left, Daryl took out two beside him with his crossbow, and he kicked on back, causing it to bash its head open on the rock behind it.

Carol joined them, and they worked together to take out the walkers, and they had only three left. Beth went to kill it when she tripped from Daryl stepping back away from the walker that fell in front of him, and Beth groaned.

"Ah!" She heard the cartilage in her ankle twist. "Ahh."

"Beth!" Carol looked back.

"Carol!" Beth tried to warn her, but the walker wasn't dead like Daryl thought it was, and it sank its teeth into Carol's arm. "No!"

Daryl heard Beth's cry as he finished off the last walker. He spun around as the walker ripped the flesh off Carol's arm, he bashed in the walker's skull and grabbed Carol as she fell to her knees, shuddering. "Carol? Carol?"

"No." Beth crawled over to them. "Carol, no."

"Carol." Daryl held her close. "Hold on." He grabbed knife and pushed her sleeve up.

"No," she wheezed, feeling the infection in her veins. "No."

He looked at her with big, horrified blue eyes. No? Did she just say no? "No?" he repeated.

"No."

"Carol, we can cut it off," Beth told her. "We did it for Daddy. We can do it for you. We have to be quick. Daryl, do it. Come on!"

_**I'm here again, a thousand miles away from you**_

_**A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am**_

_**I tried so hard, thought I could do this on my own**_

_**I've lost so much along the way**_

Daryl shook his head though, and Beth stared, but he knew Carol wouldn't say no unless she say no point to it. Beth grabbed his knife and tried to amputate it, but she couldn't She whimpered and dropped the knife, sobbing.

"No. No, Carol, please. Not like this," Beth cried. "We can do somethin'! We can!"

"Yes," Carol agreed. "Yes, you can. But not with me. They need you. The others."

"We need you!" Daryl growled. "I—I... I need you!"

_**Then I'll see your face, I know I'm finally yours**_

_**I find everything I thought I lost before**_

_**You call my name, I come to you in pieces**_

_**So you can make me whole**_

She smiled and lifted her hand up to his cheek. "Everything works out the way it's supposed to."

His eyes burned heavily. "No, it don't. Carol, please, let me do this. Now, please."

"Do you remember that first night in camp?" Her eyes filled with tears. "You told us that silly story about Chupacabra?" She smiled a little. "You were always so...colorful and b—brave."

"Carol." Beth grasped her hand tightly in hers.

"Keep him safe," Carol told her. "Keep him sane, okay? You have to be there for him."

She nodded vigorously.

_**I've come undone**_

_**But you make sense of who I am**_

_**Like puzzle pieces in your eye**_

She grasped Daryl's rough hand. "Look at you, crying over me." She smiled at him. "I get to see my Sophia again." He gripped her hand tightly. "I love you, Daryl. I should've said it sooner, but I couldn't lose you. I'd nearly lost you twice, and I couldn't... Not a third time." Tears streamed down her face.

"Nine lives," he whispered.

Beth buried her face in Carol's chest. "I love you, Carol. I'm so sorry."

"This wasn't on you, Beth. It was never on you." She stroked her hair. "Shh. You're so brave, Beth. You don't know it yet, but you are so brave."

_**Then I'll see your face, I know I'm finally yours**_

_**I find everything I thought I lost before**_

_**You call my name, I come to you in pieces**_

_**So you can make me whole**_

"I ain't lettin' you become one of those things." Daryl grabbed his knife. "It's the pact."

"Daryl, no—Ahh!" She cried out as he broke through the flesh and bone. "Aaahhhh!"

Son of a bitch did it hurt to hear her scream like that. He had to keep going to stop the infection in time. Damn, he never wanted to hear her scream like this.

Beth squeezed her eyes shut tightly as warm blood sprayed onto her arm, but she was glad Daryl had done it. She didn't want to lose Carol. She hoped that this worked. That Daryl did it in time to save her. Beth couldn't lose her, not Carol, not anyone else.

_**I tried so hard, so hard**_

_**I tried so hard**_

Carol passed out long before Daryl served bone from flesh, Beth prayed hard that she would be okay as she grabbed the bag Carol had on her, and she looked for medical supplies. Daryl dropped the knife and grabbed her wrist, checking for a pulse. He placed his ear to her chest. It was weak, but there.

He leaned over to her ear. "You shoulda told me sooner," he whispered, "'cause I loved you too."

_**Then I'll see your face, I know I'm finally yours**_

_**I find everything I thought I lost before**_

_**You call my name, I come to you in pieces**_

_**So you can make me whole**_

_**So you can make me whole**_

Beth saw to her wound while Daryl waited for signs of her turning, and they waited. Beth tried to wipe the blood off her arm, but it was congealed now. She didn't want to focus on Carol completely, because it broke her heart and looking at Daryl broke her heart. His eyes were intense and clear. He knew what he wanted, and he wasn't giving up. Beth respected him even more in that moment, and she prayed like her daddy would have. For her, for Daryl and for Carol and for the others. She had to keep hoping. Without hope...they were no different than the dead.

They set up camp, using the walkers to get rid of their scent, and Beth stared a fire, and they shared a can of food. Carol was resting with her bag underneath Daryl's jacket, her arms over her chest and her leg propped up with her bag. Daryl watched her intently, and Beth raised her ankle up, using a tree. It wasn't comfortable, but it was good for her ankle.

They both tensed suddenly, Beth grabbed her knife, and Daryl gripped his knife.

"Ah," a groan slipped through Carol's dry, pale lips.


	2. One Day (Too Late)

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

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"It was a breath, right?" Beth asked softly. "Like snorin'?"

Daryl didn't say anything, just flexed his fingers around the hilt of his knife. His eyes were on Carol's still body, and he swallowed. He saw her arms twitch very like Amy's when she reanimated, and his gripped tightened, but his knife felt so heavy. He wasn't angry, wasn't hurting, not like before in the Tombs. He wasn't sure he could do it. He had to. It had to be him. If she was reanimating, it would have to be him who stopped it. He owed that to her.

A small growl escaped her lips, Beth stood up and walked toward her, but Daryl grabbed her wrist and stopped her. She stayed still as he stood on his own feet and approached her body. Carol's small fingers twitched, jerking, and he crouched down beside her, listening to her breathing. For a moment, he saw Hershel, Andrea, Ass Kicker, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Patrick...Sophia and Merle. He clenched his jaw, and he just had to do it. He had to just kill...Carol.

He felt so numb at that thought. He always thought he would have more time. Back when they first arrived at the prison when Carol brought him food, he saw it. She wanted more, was ready for more, but he wasn't. He was terrified of something happening to her, and it seemed to happen when people care for each other in this life, but he thought to himself maybe one day. One day after they had complete access to the prison, one day after the Governor was dead, one day after the war—always one day, never today. He was one day too late now. He should've done it before when he found her in that cell. He should've kissed her or told her what he was feeling in that moment. That moment, like so many others, was gone.

He brushed the gray hairs away from her face and started to thrust through her temple, but he couldn't. It was Carol. How could it be Carol? How did this all happen? First the flue then the Governor and Hershel and the prison...and now this.

Beth lowered herself down on her knees beside him and set a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"It ain't okay," he growled.

She moved her hand and rested her hands in her lap. "I... I don't know what to say to be honest. It's Carol. I mean... God, it's Carol. It feels so unreal, like with Daddy." Her eyes were full of tears. "I still feel...but there's nothin' anybody can do about it. He's gone, and we have to be strong. We have to be—"

"Beth, I don't give a damn what you got to say." He glared at her.

"Well, it's a damn good thing I ain't talkin' to you!" She glared back. "I'm talkin' to Carol."

"Tsk. Damn fool." He stood up and walked away.

"Hey!" She went after him. "How am I a fool? Huh?"

"You think she can hear you?" Daryl asked, gesturing his knife toward Carol. "She's dead! She can't hear nothin' you say!"

"She's not dead! You don't know that!"

"And you know she's alive?" Daryl shouted.

"I don't, but she needs us to believe in her!" Beth cried. "God, you say what you say, but then—what the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Daryl echoed. "Sittin' there cryin' over a woman you think's alive, but when your daddy dies and your boyfriend, you can't shed a damn tear? The hell's wrong with you?"

"That's different—"

"How? Y'all ain't even blood, and you're cryin', sayin' she's alive. Hershel was your dad! He's dead. Carol's dead. Tsk, Maggie's probably dead too. And it don't even matter, 'cause you ain't ever gonna see her again! None of 'em!"

"Would you stop the bullshit?" Beth exclaimed. "I know how it works! I may never see them again, but Carol's right there, and I need something... I need someone to help...someone to believe in."

"Keep dreamin'." He tossed his knife down so that it stuck in the mud and marched out of camp, pissed off.

She groaned angrily and grabbed his knife. "Well, screw you too, Daryl Dixon." She sat down beside Carol and tucked loose hair behind her ear. She checked on the wound, looking for any signs of infection. She set a hand on Carol's forehead and felt sick. Her forehead was warm. She swallowed and unbuttoned Carol's shirt, writing it off as a hot flash or maybe just sweating. She removed Carol's shirt and left her in a long-sleeved tee.

Beth stayed with Carol for hours, the sun sinking behind the trees, and Beth started a small fire. She was a little concerned that Daryl wasn't back yet, but he could take care of himself. She could take care of herself too. She'd learned how to from her dad and from Maggie and from the winter on the road. She didn't need him. When Carol was awake, she'd find something for them to eat and they'd find the others. They had to.

A twig snapped, and Beth shot up, clutching the knife, but it was only Daryl. He had a rope of squirrels, she half-expected him to throw them at her, but sat down—close to Carol—and began to skin them. Beth looked for something to cook them in while he did so, and once they were cooked, they eat in silence.

Beth fell asleep, silently telling Daryl he was on watch, and Daryl thought of heading to the farm to put Carol's body with Sophia's, but what did it matter? It wasn't her anymore. It was just a walking corpse that was currently sleeping. Next time it moved, he wouldn't hesitate.

In the morning, Beth woke up and found Daryl intensely watching Carol, his knife on his knee as he rested against the tree behind him. The fire was dying now, so she kicked dirt into it, seeing they didn't need it anymore. She yawned soundlessly and rubbed her eyes, pulling her legs in.

"Is it mornin'?" Beth asked.

"Sun's up," was all he said.

"Really? Is it? I didn't notice." She rolled her eyes and reached over to check Carol's pulse.

"Don't."

"Why not?" She grasped Carol's wrist and found a strong pulse. She smiled. "I'm gonna get some water. She'll be thirsty."

"Sure, she will."

She turned and glowered. "Would it kill you to be optimistic? Honestly, Daryl, I don't see how this is a bad thing."

"No, you don't."

"Stop being so damn negative!" she demanded. "She's just healin'!"

"Is that what you think she's doin'?" Daryl muttered. "Dumbass kid."

"You're just an ass all the time. Yes, we lost the prison, but we can still do somethin'! Maybe not here, maybe not now, but somewhere out there the others need us." She grabbed the bottle from beside him. "Least you didn't drink it all."

"You wanna know what my problem is, Beth?" Daryl snapped, getting in her face.

"I know what you're problem is," she shot back. "You're cuttin' me off, like I don't matter. Like none of our friends, our family matter. Stop actin' like you don't give a crap about what happened to them! I know you're hurtin', but so I am, so is Carol. We need each other, now more than ever."

"You don't know shit," Daryl told her.

"Mmm..." Carol groaned softly, almost inaudibly.

"I'm not stupid," she stated. "I know when you're in pain. I seen it. I saw it when that little girl came out of the barn, when you thought Carol died after Andrew let walkers into the prison and when you went after Merle and Michonne. Yeah, I pay attention."

"Yeah, I bet you do," he sarcastically replied.

She wanted to strangle him, but when she glanced over to take a calming breath, she saw Carol sitting up. "Daryl." She reached automatically for her knife.

Daryl lunged, sure she was walker by the way she was moving, but as his knife came close to her temple, he found confused gray-blue eyes looking at him. He stared. She was alive.

Carol grasped her throat, and Beth rushed over, handing her the bottle of water. Carol drank all of it, Beth smiled warmly at her, and Daryl dropped his eyes to the ground.

"Good mornin'." Beth wished they had something for her to eat that was hot. "How do you feel?"

Carol lowered the bottle from her lips. "Disappointed."

Beth frowned. "Why do you feel disappointed?" Carol was watching Daryl, so Beth didn't get an answer. "Okay, let's get some food in you then we can go." Beth grabbed Carol's backpack and looked for something to eat.

Daryl replaced his knife and held his hand out to her, Carol stood up without his help, and Beth sensed something there. She wasn't sure what it was, but something was there, and she had a feeling that would come back and bite them in the ass.

"Where are we going?" Carol asked.

"Through there." Daryl gestured to the trees. "Found some tracks, mighta been from our group."

"Um, how do peaches sound?" Beth asked Carol.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks."

"All right." She zipped up the bag and shouldered it. "I guess we should be going. Um...how's the... er, arm?"

"I'll live."

They gathered their belongings, Daryl led them toward the tracks and the tracks were obvious, so Beth walked ahead, leaving them to hopefully talk. They had a long way to go, and when they found the others, they needed to be a group again. Daryl was pulling away, and Carol was...something. That was her word of the day, wasn't it? She sighed as the tension from behind caught up to her, and she kept walking.

A scream caught their attention, Beth took off running toward it, Daryl cursed and he and Carol went after her. Beth found a group by the railroad tracks, and she found Tyreese with them. Daryl grabbed his crossbow and went to help them out, and Carol stopped on the tracks. She paused and noticed something in the woods. She walked into the woods and found the girls, Mika was trying to kill walkers, but her aim wasn't that good. Carol went to reach for her gun, but she didn't have a hand there. She grabbed her knife and took the woman out first, Mika stopped shooting, and she killed the other two.

"Carol!" Mika wrapped her arms around her waist.

Lizzie lifted her head and turned. "Ma'am!" She smiled and hugged her with her free arm.

Mika smiled at Carol then noticed her hand. "What happened?"

Lizzie swallowed hard.

"It's nothing for you to worry about. Come on." She led them back to the tracks, Daryl was looking around, and she wondered if it was for her. "Tyreese."

Beth turned. "Judith, Mika, Lizzie!" She ran and gave them a hug, taking Judy from Lizzie and holding her tightly. "It's so good to see y'all."

Daryl stared at Lil' Ass Kicker. He was sure he would never see her again, and the girls too, but there they were, not even injured. He nearly scoffed in disbelief.

"Are you all okay?" Tyreese asked.

"Yeah." Mika nodded.

"Guy talked 'bout a place," Daryl told them, "at the end of the tracks."

"Are we goin'?" Beth asked.

"Ain't nowhere else to go."

Tyreese and Daryl took the led, Beth carried Judy with Mika beside her, and Carol was in the rear with Lizzie. They spoke about the prison, Daryl heard the lie Carol told about coming back after, and Ty seemed to believe it. He really didn't want Ty to find out about Carol killing Karen and David. Carol didn't even know he knew. He needed to talk to her about that too. If she ever spoke to him again, that is.

They stopped just before nightfall to rest, Ty and Mika lied down on the tracks, Daryl sat on the tracks, Beth rocked Judy to sleep, and Carol and Lizzie sat away from them. Daryl figured she was going to take watch. He would talk to her then.

"Does it hurt?" Lizzie asked, referring to Carol's amputated arm.

"You don't need to worry about that," Carol told her. "You need to rest."

"I'm going to stay with you. I can help."

"You can help tomorrow night. Go."

She sighed, but leaned over and hugged Carol. She joined her sister and used Mika's legs as a pillow, Carol noticed Ty muttering in his sleep, and she knew what it was. She saw the same thing in her dreams too. So many voices called out to her for help, but all she could do was listen. It was horrible.

Daryl walked over to Carol. "You got a minute?"

"I do. You don't. Get some sleep."

"Carol, this is important."

"So is you resting. You'll die if you stay up any longer. I'll be fine. We can talk in the morning."

He opened his mouth to protest when Beth brought over Judy.

"Here. She should stay with you." She smiled at Judy as she handed her to Carol. "Good night." She went to find a spot to sleep.

"Good night, Daryl." She managed to adjust Judy with the pain spiking up her arm, causing her stomach to twist and a wave of nausea ran over her, but quickly passed. She clenched her jaw tightly at the pain. It was an acute nociceptive pain, and with Hershel's experience, it should fade in a few weeks as the wound healed.

She could still remember the feeling of Hershel's blood soaking her hands, wondering if Rick had made the right call and worrying that Hershel might turn. She could see T-dog, shoulder bleeding, and she kept trying to get him to stop so they could try and stop the infection, but in the end, the dead got him. She knew the pact, and at another time would be grateful to Daryl, but right now she needed space from him and time to think of what to do about Tyreese. She wasn't sure if she could be around him and not tell him the truth. He deserved to know.

Judy nuzzled closer to Carol, and Carol smiled at the small child. It was ironic. Rick sent her away because of Ty and her influence on the kids. Here she was with three kids and his daughter. She knew Rick was with Carl. She saw them distantly, so that was good. Carl was strong, and he and Rick could take care of themselves. Maybe they would see them there at Terminus.

She sighed softly and looked over at the sleeping mass of Ty and the girls. He had calmed down now, and Mika was holding his hand, Lizzie was sleeping on Mika's legs, and Beth was beside Lizzie. Carol noticed Daryl was a good ten feet from the others. She knew this was hard on him. He'd just gotten comfortable with everyone there and this new life, and it gets taken away. Everyone he's ever known apart from them could be dead. Daryl was already tired of losing people when they went to the Big Spot, and now... She wondered how he was coping. Was he coping? He and Beth kept fighting. He was putting up his walls again. She would gladly knock them back down. He was a good man, and he didn't need to second guess himself, not with that.

She suddenly remembered their conversation. _Look at you, crying over me. I get to see my Sophia again. I love you, Daryl. I should've said it sooner, but I couldn't lose you. I'd nearly lost you twice, and I couldn't... Not a third time._ Her cheeks went warm, and she felt embarrassed. The things you say when you think you're dying. Oh, God, now Daryl knew. She wasn't as terrified as she thought she would be. She wasn't scared she might have frighten him off or made him angry somehow. Daryl wasn't the same man from the highway anymore, and she didn't have to worry about his reactions. She loved him, all of him, and him knowing that couldn't be a bad thing. If it was, she wasn't spending too much time thinking on it. She had bigger problems than Daryl ever returning her feelings, she guessed.

She stayed awake through the night, keeping watch over the others and tending to Judy when she woke. Carol had so many problems with her missing hand. Sometimes she felt like it was still there and would reach for something, but there was no hand. She hoped that went away soon. She kept reliving it. She could smell that walker, feeling his teeth sink into her flesh and tear it away as easily as a person might tear skin off a chicken wing. She could still feel the blood, and when she was lying there, saying goodbye, all she could think of was Sophia. Her beautiful face, her welcoming arms and her kind personality waiting for Carol. She missed Sophia every single day, but if Daryl brought her back, she had to believe it was for a good reason.

––

"We need water," Ty said as Carol spread tree sap over his wounded arm.

"Carol and Daryl should go." Beth pulled out the gauze. "I'll watch the girls."

"I'm not much help." She didn't look at Beth.

"Daryl can carry it all," Beth pressed.

"Daryl should try and find some food for you girls." Carol squinted. "Mika and I will look for water, and you and Ty can watch Judy and Lizzie, all right?"

She blew out a breath. "Okay."

Daryl went out and caught some rabbits while Carol and Mika went to get water, Beth played with Judith, watching Lizzie out of the corner of her eye, and Ty kept alert, looking for walkers. Carol spoke to Mika about her running away, but Mika refused to kill. She was a sweet and small, and that would get her killed.

"Hey, look." Carol lifted her eyes and saw a pecan grove in front of her, and Mika said, "My mommy always used to say everything works out the way it's supposed to."

They returned to the others and brought them to the house, Daryl and Ty went inside to clear it and Carol checked around back with Beth, leaving Mika in charge. They were on their way back when gunshots sounded, and they ran to the front of the house to find a walker dead, Mika pointing her gun at it, and Lizzie on the ground with Judy. Beth took Judy and helped Lizzie to her feet, Lizzie started crying, and Carol tried to comfort her, but Lizzie didn't want to say why she was upset.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie," Mika said softly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Lizzie coiled up in a lawn chair, and Mika comforted her. Daryl and Ty removed the body, Beth took Judy and Mika inside, and Carol took Lizzie to gather some pecans. They all returned a little before sundown, Lizzie helped to break open the pecans along with Beth, and Carol boiled water for drinking while Ty prepared a fire and Daryl checked the perimeter.

"It's nice here." Beth crossed her legs and brushed the small remains of shells to the side. "It's been so long since we've been in a living room."

"It has," Ty agreed. "I'm not sure what to do."

"Relax." Mika smiled, playing with a puzzle.

He sat down and got comfortable in a chair, smiling and contented. Beth smiled at Lizzie as they cracked open pecans, the meat cooking in the oven, and it smelled good. It smelled like home. Beth took the pecans to Carol and got another bowl down. She took the empty bowl back to the living room with her. Daryl entered the house, removing his crossbow.

"It's clear."

Carol nodded, seeing the jars on the self and thinking of what they could make with them.

Daryl walked over to her, she came out of her thoughts when he was inches away, and he leaned over and took a small handful of pecans. He shuffled them into his mouth as he walked out of the room, and Carol followed him, checking on the girls and finding Mika playing with a doll. She set a hand on Lizzie's hand and smiled at her, and Lizzie returned it slightly.

"Where's Daryl?" She noticed he wasn't in the room.

"On the porch." Beth wiped her hands on her jeans. "That should be enough."

"I don't know. Mika can pack away pecans," Lizzie teased.

Mika smiled, though.

Carol sat down on the couch and looked over the puzzle Mika was working on. She started to work on it herself, and Lizzie moved beside her to help, and Beth took the pecans into the kitchen. It was nice here. She knew she had to find Maggie, but for now, they could rest. Carol and Ty's arms needed to heal, and Carol and Daryl need to talk. They could do that here. They were safe.

Carol put the girls to bed, Ty fell asleep in the chair, and Beth was curled up on the couch with the crib beside her, so Carol stepped outside for air, finding Daryl on the porch.

"Lookin' to be alone?" He glanced at her.

"No. Why? Were you?"

"Nah, just needed some air." He dropped his leg from the rail. "I'll keep watch tonight. You needa rest and heal."

"I'm fine."

"You ain't fine, Carol. Don't lie to me." He locked eyes with her. "I know...you better than that."

She shifted her weight.

"C'mere." He grasped her arm and pulled her closer. With the dim light of the moon, he removed the wrapping around her stump and found blood there. "When'd this start bleedin'?" He tossed the wet gauze into the trash.

"A little while ago."

He took her into the house and into the kitchen, sitting her down, and he wet a clean cloth. He grasped her elbow gently and wiped at the drying blood. Carol bit down on her lip nonchalantly, trying to mask the pain. He set the bloody cloth on the table and grabbed a bottle, shaking out three pills. "Take 'em."

"I'm fine."

"Carol, stop."

She took the pills and swallowed them with water. He waited a moment before he went back to clean off the blood then he disinfected it and began to wrap it. It reminded him of Merle. When they found his severed hand on that roof, Daryl was sure he'd be cleaning up Merle's bloody stump. He was wrong, and he'd lost his brother. He wondered if that meant he was going to find Carol.

Carol fell asleep from the pills, Daryl gently picked her up, feeling a weight different, and it wasn't a good one. He carried her to the master bedroom, set her down on the bed and tossed the blanket over her. He felt like he had to stop in the doorway, and he looked back at her. He'd lost her once and found her twice, he could do it again. His only saving grace. He shook his head and went to keep watch. They couldn't be too careful.


	3. Delayed

Carol woke up with a steady warm breeze blowing over her, and she sat up, momentarily confused. When did she go to bed? The last thing she could remember was Daryl cleaning her arm and talking to her. Those pills probably made her drowsy and she fell asleep while he was dressing the wound, and he must've carried her in here. She shook her head and stood up. _It had to be Daryl_, she thought, looking at her boots. _He's the only one who sleeps with his shoes on._

Carol checked on the girls, Beth was changing Judith and teaching Mika how to do it. Lizzie wasn't in bed, Carol assumed she was somewhere else. She kept walking and found Tyreese and Daryl talking in a hushed tone, and she let them be. If they wanted her to know, they would've woken her up. She prepared some water and heard a child's laughter. She looked over and saw Lizzie playing. She almost smiled until the second person came into view.

_Shit!_ She ran outside. "Lizzie, get away from it!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Lizzie shouted, protecting the walker. "No, no, no!"

Carol pushed her out of the way and kicked the walker to the ground, plunging her knife into its skull.

"She was just playing with me!" Lizzie cried. "She wanted a friend!"

"She wanted to kill you!" Carol retorted.

"I was gonna lead her away!"

"You could've died!" Carol shouted, angry coursing through her along with concern.

"It's the same thing!" Lizzie shouted. "You killed her! You killed her! It's the same thing! What if I killed you?! What if I killed you?!" She broke out into sobs then, looking at her dead friend, her heart aching. "You don't understand...you don't understand...you don't understand. You don't understand!" She lifted her head. "You didn't have to. You didn't have to. She didn't wanna hurt anyone."

Inside the house, Daryl heard the kettle whistling, so he went to the kitchen and took it off the stove. He heard yelling and looked out the window, finding Carol on the ground with Lizzie yelling at her like a maniac. The hell? He stared, but all he could make out was, "She didn't wanna kill anyone! She was my friend and you killed her!You killed her! **You killed her!**"

Carol watched the sadness cross over the child's blue eyes.

"She was my friend." She slowly fell to the ground, crying heavily, deep from the depths of her soul.

Carol eyed her, disbelieving. She knew Lizzie misunderstood, but this... Lizzie didn't misunderstand anything. Lizzie thought of walkers as people, different people. Carol remembered the girl's words at the prison. Lizzie doesn't think of them as killers, just people who "changed". Why did she think like? Why couldn't she see?

Daryl stepped outside. "Y'all all right?"

"I don't know," was all she said, watching Lizzie closely.

Lizzie stood up and ran inside the house, Carol pursed her lips, and Daryl looked at the walker. She was young, barely an adult. Were did she come from? Why was Lizzie yelling over a dead girl? She was my friend? What the hell had he missed?

"I'll move it."

"I should talk to Lizzie." She stood up and sheathed her knife and started for the house. "Daryl?"

He looked up.

"Thanks."

He gave a nod as he grabbed the walker's arms, Carol looked for Lizzie inside and found her with Beth, sobbing. She sent Mika with Tyreese to get water and Beth to help Daryl with the body so they could be alone. She lowered herself down beside the bed and tried to touch Lizzie, but she smacked her hand away.

"Lizzie—"

"Don't touch me!" Lizzie glared through tears.

"Lizzie, you need to understand this. Walkers aren't people, and things are bad. You can't play around like that. Walkers are dangerous." She searched her eyes. "Do you understand that?"

"She didn't wanna hurt anyone! She was my friend!" She sniffed. "Is this why your daughter's dead? Did you kill her friends too? Or did you just kill her?"

Carol swallowed hard. "My daughter's dead, because she was too gentle to hurt anybody."

"You don't have that problem," Lizzie spat.

"She wasn't alive," Carol snapped. "She was dead, and all she wanted was to kill and eat you. They aren't people anymore, Lizzie."

"Yes, they are," Lizzie said, deadpan. "You just don't understand." She looked at Carol. "But you will. I know what I have to do now."

Carol sighed. "I should check on Judith." She left the room as Lizzie calmed down, and she met Daryl in the hall. "Where's Beth?"

"She's with Ty and Mika. How's Lizzie?"

"Confused, very confused." She shook her head. "Leave her be for now. We have other things to do."

"Yeah, we gotta talk."

"I should feed Judy, but we can talk during."

They walked into the living room, Carol went to get Judith, but she wasn't in her crib. Daryl figured Beth took her, so they went to find Beth, but Beth was sharing a peach with Mika as Tyreese pumped water. Carol felt panicked, like she was drowning, like when she saw Sophia slip out from underneath that car and run into the woods with walkers after her.

_You don't understand. But you will. I know what I have to do now. _She wouldn't...would she? She hurried back to the house and checked on Lizzie. She was gone.

"Lizzie!" Carol called. "Lizzie, where are you?"

"Lizzie's gone?" Beth lowered her half of the peach back to her lap. "And Judy?"

"Oh, no!" Mika took off running.

"Mika!" Carol went after her, Beth and Daryl and Tyreese followed Carol, and they found their back the tracks. Mika ran quickly down the tracks, the others right behind her, and they saw Lizzie's back and heard the moans of walkers.

Carol's heart was pounding with fear, every time her foot hit the ground, it felt as if she was slowing down. She felt like she was moving in slow motion, and no matter how much she pushed herself, she still felt like something was slowing her down.

Tyreese prayed nothing was wrong, that Lizzie had just taken Judy out for some air. He didn't want anything to happen to these girls—to anybody. This had to be a misunderstanding. He'd seen Lizzie yell crazily at Carol, but that was something else. This sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach was wrong. It was wrong. It had to be.

Beth felt like her legs weren't moving fast enough. She was scared she'd fall short and something horrible would happen to Judith and Lizzie both. She couldn't let anything happen to that beautiful baby and that little girl. She couldn't. Lizzie wouldn't do anything stupid like take Judy outside without them knowing. Lizzie was a good person, wasn't she?

Daryl just knew he had to move faster. He had to keep running, he had to get Lil' Ass Kicker, and he had to stop whatever Lizzie was doing. The way that little girl yelled, her words—she was more than very confused. Something was very wrong with Lizzie. He knew something bad was bound to happen, and if it wasn't Carol, it was this. _God damn it!_

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening! She knew her sister was messed up, but she hoped that Lizzie hadn't crossed that line. She'd seen the things her sister had done, and she hoped that Lizzie wasn't doing anything stupid. She had to stop Lizzie, had to calm her down. _Mommy, please, don't let this happen!_

"Lizzie, don't!" Mika shouted.

––

Glenn draped the poncho over him and Maggie as they settled in for the night, the picture of her fluttered to the ground, and he reached for it. Maggie took it, hating that picture, and she pulled out her lighter. Glenn protested.

"That's the only picture I have of you." He took it from her.

"You don't need a picture of me. You never will." She studied his eyes, and he moved the picture to the orange flame and watched it consume her beautiful face. She tossed it to the ground and snuggled closer to him. She rested her head on his chest. "Before at the prison, did you see Beth at all?" she whispered.

"After the bus?" He stroked her hair, making her more sleepy and she nodded. "I think I saw her with Daryl."

"Daryl?" She closed her eyes. "Good. She'll be safe."

He kissed her forehead. "Get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow."

"The end of the line—Terminus." She sighed. "Maybe Daryl got Beth there."

"I bet he did."

They slept while Abraham kept watch over Eugene, Glenn slept peacefully for the first time since the prison, holding Maggie close in his arms, and Tara kept awake, smiling softly at the two of them, and she thought of her sister and niece and father. If they stayed in that apartment, they would've died. They couldn't have killed their own father, and if he had turned in the night, he would've gotten them. They died the same way—all infected—and here she was with the people she'd tried to kill only days ago. She was glad that she couldn't shoot, because they were good people. Lilly would've liked them.

Lilly. The mere thought of her made tears well up in Tara's eyes. Her older sister, her protector, her best friend...was gone. Someone who had been with from the day she was born was...gone. All of her life she'd had a big sister, but no more. Lilly had been with her through everything, it felt like. She'd been there when Tara had horrible acne and no real friends. She'd been there when Tara was realizing her sexual preference for girls, and Lilly, even though she didn't understand, had her back, supported her. Lilly always did. She was going to miss fighting with her most, though. Piss Lilly off, and she was a force to be reckoned with. They used to argue for days and days, but when Lilly needed Tara or Tara needed Lilly, they were there. Always.

Meghan was so like her—sweet, gentle, a mind for new things. She wouldn't have made it long out here. From the look of things, no child did. If Meghan had lived, all of the things that could've happen to her were so horrifying that Tara was glad she was dead. She could've been raped, murdered, tortured, made an example out of like that old man. No, it was better for her to be gone. She was at peace. She was with her mom and her grandfather and at peace. She didn't have to see the horrors of this world. She didn't have to let the world change into someone she wasn't, into someone like Brian. She was the same little angel when she died—innocent and loved. So loved.

She pulled her legs in and let herself sob, let herself mourn her losses. She needed to make peace with it. Glenn had found his wife, found his other friends, and they were all going to Terminus. Things would be okay. She was safe and with a group of good, loyal people. Tomorrow would bring hell, but everyday here brought hell, she would just have to adjust. She had to adjust and make peace with her losses and her mistakes.

She fell asleep after the tears stopped, and Rosita woke her in the morning. They headed out, Glenn and Maggie held hands as they walked the tracks, Tara and Eugene were in the middle with Rosita and Abraham behind, and the other two—Bob and Sasha were close by Maggie and Glenn. They were making good time, and before long, they saw the black words on the brick building: Terminus.

It was perfect, Tara thought. If a building could be perfect, Terminus was.

––

Rick walked ahead of Carl and Michonne, talking to them about their low supply of water and how it was cooling off. It was good that the weather was with them now. They needed something to go right. Finding Michonne—rather Michonne finding them was something great. Carl smiles now, laughs even. He hadn't much of that since... Hell, Rick could barely remember.

He glanced back and found them bent down looking at the rocks. "What's the bet now?" he mused.

"No bet," Michonne replied. "There's a jasper."

Carl picked it up. "Do you mind if I keep it?"

She smirked. "Go ahead."

He smiled and wiped it off onto his jeans, Rick smiled to himself, and they started back up the tracks. They would need food soon and more water. They could easily make it to Terminus at the end of the day tomorrow, but they would be starving and thirsty. Rick was thinking of the map they'd found back a ways, and he knew a town was a mile or two away. It might not be worth it, but they needed rest. He needed rest. Falling off a roof was not a good way to recover.

"Hey, guys." He stopped where the tracks split. "Do you want to delay our trip a day? Stop and get some supplies?"

"Sleep in a bed?" Carl asked. "I'd like that."

"Michonne?" Rick squinted at the sun shining in his eyes.

"Fine by me."

They went off the tracks, going to the town that Rick had found on the map, and shortly after they got off the tracks, walkers came by and shortly after the walkers trampled over their tracks, a group of men that were tracking them stopped and tried to tell one set of tracks from another.

Rick's group found a secure house, Carl claimed the first bed he say and dropped onto it, and Michonne laughed. Rick checked the cabinets and found a small amount of canned goods, and he made sure Carl and Michonne ate, and he went to check on his injures as Michonne and Carl talked.

"What do you think is there?" Carl asked, eating his share of yams.

"I don't know. People, obviously, but I don't know what kind of people." She took a small drink of water.

"Do you think...anyone else will be there? Glenn? Maggie? Daryl? Beth?"

"If they aren't, they're on their way, I guarantee it."

He nodded, and they finished eating. Michonne stayed with him until he fell asleep then she slipped out of bed and found Rick having difficulties with disinfecting his wounds. She bit back a laugh, and he saw her in the mirror and actually laughed a little himself.

"Need a hand?" She walked into the bathroom.

"Yeah." He handed the cloth to her. "Thanks."

"It's no problem." She wiped away the dirt.

"Is Carl sleeping?"

"Yes." She met his eyes in the mirror. "It was good to stop here. He needed to rest."

"I noticed he don't sleep much when we're outside."

"Who does?" She reached over and grabbed the bandage, smoothing it down.

"He has nightmares," Rick said softly. "Used to back at the prison...after Lori, his mom, dead. I think he kept dreamin' about how he coulda saved her. They stopped a few weeks ago." He shook his head. "Now he dreams about Judith."

"I know. I heard him saying her name." She crossed her arms. "What happened? I know she's... Wasn't she supposed to be on the bus?"

"I reckon they...were takin' her, but walkers were comin' and they left her." He clenched his jaw, blinking hard to keep from breaking down.

She set a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Get some rest. I'll keep watch tonight."

"That ain't—"

"That's an order." She smirked, and he let out a small laugh. "Good night."

"Night, and thank you."

She nodded and went downstairs. She was about to block the door when she heard movement behind her, and she turned to find Rick coming downstairs. "You don't take orders well."

"Just came to help you secure the door."

They moved the couch to block the front door, Michonne checked the windows as Rick went upstairs to sleep, and she sat down on the stairs. She kept watch through the night, Carl didn't wake at all, but she heard Rick tossing and turning. She was worried, but if he was sleeping, she didn't want to wake him up.

When morning came, she checked on him, letting Carl get a few more minutes. She found Rick awake, sitting up and gazing out the window, and she frowned. She walked over to him and sat beside him. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"When I close my eyes...I see 'em." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

She nodded. "So do I."

"I have to be strong for Carl. I can't let him see me like this." He sighed.

"You need to sleep."

"No, we gotta move."

"We're staying one more day," she decided. "We'll find some more food and maybe a map that doesn't have blood on it. You're going to sleep tonight."

"What about you?"

"I'm sleeping now. You and Carl should go."

"Are you sure? The last time one of us was alone—"

"I can handle myself," she assured him. "Go."

He picked up his belt and rose, putting it on as Michonne lied down, and he woke up Carl. They ate some stale cereal and headed out, making sure the door was blocked. They decided to only search the houses nearby, Carl suggested they keep an eye out for the house they were staying in, just in case, and Rick agreed.

They searched the house across the street, Rick found some canned vegetables and some seeds. He thought of Hershel and when he first taught him how to farm. _I teach you how to do this, you teach Carl_. He sighed and took the seeds, placing them into his bag. He moved to the next room and searched the room, but found nothing useful. He finished the downstairs and met Carl on the stairs.

"Anything?" Rick asked.

"A small first aid kit, some peppermints and...oh, a shotgun." Carl pulled it out from behind his back. "And some ammo for it."

Rick smiled. "Good find." He took it and looked it over then paused. Why would anyone leave a shotgun behind? He sighed. They wouldn't, and if someone had killed them, they would've taken this. Carl found dead bodies. Damn it.

"Let's go." Rick guided him out the door, and they headed to the next house. They found quite a bit of food, no water though, and Carl found some comics that he and Michonne could read. Rick found some batteries that still had some juice in them, a couple flashlights, but only one worked. Carl headed back to the house, and Rick followed, adjusting the strap to the shotgun.

He stepped into the house and closed the door, Michonne was awake now, and Carl showed he the comics while Rick blocked the door again.

"When we're done with them, we can use them to start a fire," Carl told her.

"Good idea." She smiled. "So, what else did you find?"

"A shotgun and some supplies." He lowered his head. "But...I found the shotgun."

She set the comics down. "What else did you find there?"

"There was...a man." He lifted his eyes a little. "He shot himself in the head...and his daughters. They were young. Younger than me. I saw pictures of them, so I could tell. They'd been gone a long time, because...they didn't smell anymore."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Yeah." He sighed.

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the doorway, hearing every word Carl said. He knew they should've searched the floors together. He pushed off the wall and entered the room, setting a hand on Carl's shoulder.

"Did you sleep well?" Rick asked Michonne.

"Well enough." She nodded.

He nodded a little. "I'm gonna search for some water, see if I can find any. Y'all stay here."

"But Dad," Carl protested.

"No, you stay with Michonne. I won't go too far." He squeezed Carl's shoulder reassuringly. "Read and eat something."

He left the room and padded down the stars, Michonne caught up to him and called out his name. He faced her. "Stay with Carl."

"I'm not a child." She met his eyes. "What are you really doing?"

"I'm gettin' water."

"If you're not back in two hours," she informed him, "we're coming after you."

He chuckled. "I'll be back."

"Two hours."

"Yes, ma'am."

She watched him leave and pushed the couch back._ Maybe an hour and a half and then we'll come looking_, she thought to herself. She felt Carl beside her, and she set her arm around his shoulder. "He'll be back."

He didn't say anything, and Michonne felt worried for some reason, but not about Rick. She was worried about Carl, about his mental state. He's so young, and he can only handle so much. She would keep him safe always.


	4. Counting Stars

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

**––**

"Lizzie, stop!" Mika wailed, seeing Lizzie siting on the tracks with baby Judith on her lap and walker in front of her, broken on the tracks. "Lizzie?" Mika saw blood on the walker's mouth, and Judy was too quiet.

Carol stopped beside Mika and saw the blood as well, Daryl just froze, and Ty stopped, unable to go any closer, to see exactly why they looked so tortured. They all felt so cold, Mika was too stunned to cry, and Beth felt her eyes burning as she pushed through them. Daryl couldn't stop her, and she jerked her arm back from Carol.

"Get away from her!" Beth shouted venomously. "God, get the hell away from her!" She started shooting the walkers, her eyes full of tears and her ankle burned with pain.

Carol moved beside her and shot at the walkers as well then Daryl and Tyreese, Mika wrapped her arms around Lizzie, sobbing now. The sound of muffled sobs and gunshots filled the air, the scent of fresh blood drifted around them, and as the walkers fell one by one, Beth couldn't do it anymore. She stopped and fell to her knees, crying. Carol wanted to sooth her, but if she stopped, even for a moment, it would sink it. Judith was dead, killed...by Lizzie.

"Lizzie," Mika softly cried.

A small cry sounded from Lizzie's arms, Carol looked down and found Judy nestled in Lizzie's arms, untouched. She picked Judith up with a few difficulties, but she held her close, seeing now that it was a rat's blood. But also Lizzie's. Lizzie was soaking in blood, and Judith had blood staining her shirt.

Carol handed Judy to Beth, and Ty took them back the house, holding Judy in one arm and helping Beth limp back with the other. Daryl stayed, and Carol saw the gashes on Lizzie's arms. "Lizzie, why...?"

"They just want me to change," she whispered.

"No!" Mika screamed. "No!"

"It's okay," Lizzie said. "We just have to wait. I'm showing you. You'll see. You'll finally get it. It's okay, we just have to wait."

"We can wait," Carol assured her. "Come here." Lizzie curled into Carol's arms, and Mika did the same, taking Lizzie's hand. "We'll wait." Carol smoothed Lizzie's hair down and kissed the top of her head. "Just close your eyes, sweetheart. We'll wait."

Lizzie nodded, smiling at Mika. "Don't cry. You'll see, Mika, you'll see."

Mika cried into Carol's chest, though.

She looked into Carol's eyes. "Then we can do Judy and you too, Mika. We can all change." Lizzie closed her eyes, so sleepy. "This is nice. We can be a family." Her hands were losing their grip. "We can be...together...forever, Mika."

"Lizzie?" Mika gripped her hand. "Lizzie, no!"

Carol closed her eyes as hot tears ran down her cheeks. "Daryl," she said softly.

He nodded, shouldered his crossbow and picked Mika up. Mika struggled, crying out for Lizzie, and Daryl carried her wailing and reaching for Lizzie back to the house as Carol sobbed and rocked Lizzie in her arms.

_**You in the dark, you in the pain, you on the run**_

_**Living a hell, living your ghost, living your end**_

_**Never seem to get in the place that I belong**_

_**Don't wanna lose the time, lose the time to come**_

Beth smoothed Mika's hair back as Mika sobbed into her lap, the small girl shook so violently, and Beth couldn't calm her down. Beth was crying her eyes out for Carol, for Mika and for Lizzie losing herself, and she didn't know what to say. She wanted to comfort Mika, but she had no words. If Beth thought about losing Maggie, she would never stop thinking about it. She had to be strong for them, especially for Mika.

"The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want," she said in between sobs, thinking of her father. "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside still waters. He—"

The sound of a single gun shooting made Beth cringe, and Mika wailed louder, digging her nails into Beth's thigh, and Beth held her closer. "He resoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

_**Whatever you say it's alright**_

_**Whatever you do it's all good**_

_**Whatever you say it's alright**_

Tyreese hung his head outside as Daryl began to dig a grave by the water near all the flowers, and he joined Beth as she softly spoke, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

Daryl thrust the shovel into the ground angrily, over and over, seeing the look on Carol's face as he walked away. He remembered the mice at the gate, and he saw the one by Lizzie's feet. She was feeding the walkers at the prison, probably dissected that rabbit too. Son of a bitch! He wanted to cuss and shout. One little girl! One little girl playing with walkers brought all of that illness to the prison! But he couldn't blame her. She was...sick herself. She was dead now. She was with the many others who died of that illness, and Carol and Mika would have to make peace with her being dead. That was easier said then done. He never wanted to bury another child, another daughter of Carol's.

_**Silence is not the way. We need to talk about it**_

_**If heaven is on the way. If heaven is on the way**_

Carol sat beside the tracks with all of the dead walkers, holding Lizzie's limp body in her arms. She looked at her gun and tossed it away from her. She set Lizzie's body gently down, minding her head and brushing hair from her face. She was so numb in that moment as she removed Lizzie's knife and gun. She set Lizzie's gun in her holster and her knife in her boot.

She placed a kiss to Lizzie's forehead and stood up, walking back to the house, and she saw Daryl digging. She walked around to the front of the house and sat down, hearing Tyreese and Beth. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over."

_**You in the sea, on a decline, breaking the waves**_

_**Watching the lights go down, letting the cables sleep**_

_**Whatever you say it's alright. Whatever you do it's all good**_

_**Whatever you say it's alright.**_

_**Silence is not the way**_

_**We need to talk about it. Heaven is on the way**_

_**We'll wrap the world around it**_

_**If heaven is on the way. If heaven is on the way**_

She looked herself over, soaked in Lizzie's blood, and she began to gently rock herself back and forth, forth and back as the wind picked up. She saw the beautiful flower in front of her and saw Lizzie's and Sophia's faces in their yellow petals.

_I would too. Can we go?...'Cause I believe she's still out there. I'm not afraid to kill, I'm just...afraid... (No sir)... I think a lot of people are going to die, but at least they get to come back... Yeah, but they're __**something**_._..They're __**someone**__... We all change. We don't get to stay the way we started._

_Mom...? Mommy...? _That sweet child lost all alone in the woods._ Mommy! Help me! It's so dark, and I'm scared! Mommy!_

She broke down into painful sobs, feeling the emotions she felt when she lost Sophia, and she felt like she was fall apart all over again. She just kept...falling.

_**I'm a stranger in this town. I'm a stranger in this town.**_

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

––

Daryl craved a cross for Lizzie's grave outside by her grave, and he tried so hard not to let the silence get to him. It was so heavy. So heavy. Beth was now rocking Judy on the porch in the rocking chair since her ankle needed to be elevated to reduce swelling, and her eyes rimmed with red and puffy. She had just cleaned Lizzie off, changed Lizzie into a cute white dress that was left behind, and she'd brushed out her hair. She wanted Lizzie to know that she was loved, and she wanted her to find peace. Tyreese carried Mika to bed after she cried herself into exhaustion, and he set her gently down on the bed, but her little fingers wouldn't let go of his shirt. He oh-so gently removed them and picked up her doll, letting her cuddle with it. He covered her up and left the room.

Daryl finished with the cross and went inside. "It's ready."

Tyreese nodded.

"Where's Carol?"

"She's out on the porch. I think it's best if we leave her be."

"I'll get Beth." Daryl went to Beth and found her on the porch, her legs to pulled up with Judy in the space between. She was so pale. His heart ached, and when he saw Carol, he nearly died.

She was sitting on the lawn chair, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and she wasn't moving, wasn't even blinking. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms in her lap, and she covered in blood. She looked like a statue, beautiful and broken...red and marble.

He started for Carol when Beth grabbed his jeans. He looked down and her eyes moved up, and she shook her head. He groaned silently. "We're ready. C'mon."

She handed him Judith and stood up. "C'mon." She took him by his sleeve and led him away from Carol. She was almost grateful for the pain in her ankle. It took her mind off the emotional pain, if only for a moment.

The funeral was silent, Beth placed flowers over the grave, and Tyreese marked the grave with Daryl's cross. They all stood there, Beth had no tears left to shed, Tyreese had nothing to say, and Daryl had mixed emotions. He wasn't sure how he felt.

Tyreese went back to the house with Beth and then Daryl left. Daryl went to check on Carol, still holding Lil' Ass Kicker, and he stopped beside her. He sat on the ground and Judy reached for the flowers. He plucked one and let her have it, and he gazed over at Carol.

"I did it," Carol whispered. "I killed Karen and David." She didn't blink.

"I know," he whispered back.

"Of course you do." She inhaled deeply. "He should know too."

"Now ain't the time for that, Carol." He reached up to comfort her, but she jerked away.

"What, are you going to hold my hand?" She gazed at the trees. "Make sure you're on the left side."

"Carol—"

"Leave me alone, Daryl. I need to be alone right now. Please."

"No."

"Fine." She rose and walked off toward the woods.

"Son of a b—Carol." He went after her.

"Daryl, no." Beth scurried over to him, wincing the entire way. "We told you to leave her alone, damn it!" She scolded him. "And Judy can't be in the woods. It's getting late. Go inside and let Carol sort through this."

"No."

"Yes. Daryl, she doesn't you to help her through this. She needs you to give her space." Beth searched his eyes.

"The last time...when Sophia died, Carol... She helped me more than I helped her. I ain't lettin' her do this alone."

"Things change, Daryl. _People_ change, and Carol's changed. Give her space." She crossed her arms. "Besides, Judy needs fed, and I gotta tend to Mika."

He reluctantly went back with Beth and fed Lil' Ass Kicker, Beth couldn't get Mika to eat, and Ty couldn't be in the house. He kept watch over the others and waited for Carol to return. He wanted to talk to her for a bit, try to help her make peace with what happened. He knew about her other daughter, and now this...after the prison and so many lost...it was horrible for him, but Carol must be going through hell.

––

Carol sat down on the cool grass and pulled her legs in, looking at trees and blooming flowers around her. She couldn't even cry. Losing Lizzie...because...she had a different opinion was bullshit. She was strong and brave, and she could've survived this world. But...no. Mika was such a sweet child, but Carol didn't know if she was a survivor. Mika had already lost her mother and father and now...her sister. This would be a true test of will.

Thunder rumbled above and Carol realized how dark the sky was. She looked up and closed her eyes as rain poured down on her face. She could remember how Sophia loved the rain. She used to stare out the window all the time and just listen. When Ed wasn't around, Sophia could do that. She was so sweet, so special, and it was better she wasn't here. This world...what it did to Carl...to her... She was sure it was better for Sophia to be gone, no matter how much it hurt.

She stayed out there, the icy rain pounding over her and washing the blood away. She didn't feel the cold, just the guilt. She had to tell Tyreese. If he got angry and wanted vengeance, she would let him have that. He just needed to know. She was the one who killed Karen and David, and Tyreese needed to know so be could cope and move on. The woman he trusted, the woman he never suspected, killed the woman he loved. It was her responsibility.

"Carol?"

She looked up and saw Mika beside her, soaking wet. "Mika?" She stood up on her knees. "Honey, what are you doing? It's raining. Go inside."

She shook her head. "No, not without you."

"You shouldn't be out here. Go inside with Beth."

"No, I don't want to be alone." She tossed her arms around Carol's neck. "Please, don't leave me all alone."

"You aren't alone."

"Yes, I am. Mommy and Daddy are gone. Lizzie was supposed to stay with me! She wasn't supposed to abandon me!" She fell to her knees and cried into Carol's soaking shirt. "Please, don't leave me, Carol!"

Carol wrapped her arms around the small girl and held her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"She told me," Mika whispered. "She told me she he—heard them, that they wanted her to be like—like them, and tha—that's how I knew! That's how I knew she was doing some—something hor—horrible!"

"This wasn't your fault." Carol drew her back. "Mika, you are not responsible for Lizzie's actions."

"I—I didn't t—tell you. I sh—should've tol—told you!" she sobbed.

"No one is to blame. You loved your sister, and your sister loved you, but she's gone now. That's all that matters." She grasped her cheek. "Mika?"

"That's—that's all that ma—matters."

Carol picked Mika up, the girl didn't weight much, even when completely wet, and she took her back to the grove. Ty went inside and grabbed towels for them, Carol thanked him and set Mika down. Beth took Mika to the bathroom and began to boil water for a bath, because the girl was shaking, her teeth chattering and she was cold to the touch.

Carol wiped her face and made her way back to the room she'd slept in the previous night, having problems with removing her jeans. She kicked off her boots and peeled her socks off.

"Hey." Beth walked into the room. "I brought you some hot water to wash your face or warm you hand... Umm, I'll bring you some food in then check in on Mika."

"No. I'll check in on her, but thank you, Beth. You need to rest your ankle."

"I will. I just want to make sure you and Mika are all right." She intertwined her fingers. "I'll get you some dry clothes."

Carol unbuckled her belt and jeans, setting her belt on the dresser and dropping her pants to the floor. She picked up the washcloth Beth left beside the bowel of steaming water. She washed her face and what blood the rain didn't clean off, Beth left her fresh clothes on the bed, and Carol changed into the warm, if only a little bit big, clothes. She dropped her boots outside on her way to see Mika and ran into Daryl.

He gave a small nod at her then walked by, but Carol grasped his forearm with her hand, stopping him, and he met her eyes curiously.

"Thank you for taking care of...them." She swallowed hard. "It means a lot that you stayed."

He removed her hand from his forearm and hugged her. "I'll be there whenever you need me."

She pulled back. "Mika needs me right now."

"I'm gonna be on watch. If you wanna talk, come find me."

She nodded and walked into Mika's room. "Mika?" She kept her voice soft, just in case she was sleeping, but Mika wasn't sleeping. She was in her bed, clutching Lizzie's pillow to her chest, snuffling. Carol closed the door and sat on the bed. "Do you feel any better?" She tucked hair behind Mika's ear.

"Yes." She paused. "No." She met Carol's eyes. "I don't know."

"You should get some sleep, Mika."

"I can't."

"I'll be right here."

"You'll stay?" Mika's eyes were big and hopeful.

"Of course I'll stay."

Mika smiled a little, and they lied down, and to comfort her, Carol her the rest of Tom Sawyer from what she could remember. Mika's breathing was becoming more even, and Carol stopped telling the story. She knew how the girl felt, but she had words to console her. They would have to heal together.

Carol felt Mika's hand grip her suddenly. "Mika?"

"Just making sure," she sleepily whispered.

"Good night, Mika."

––

Daryl gazed up at the moon and heard the door open. He looked over, but it was Beth who came out. She walked over to the rail and rested her hands on the cool wood. He wondered now if Carol had fallen asleep. In a way he was glad, but in another, he wished they could've spoken.

She was looking at the sky and smiled. "It's so beautiful. All those stars. Heh, almost makes me forget." She turned her head and swallowed. "I wanted to talk to you, and since I limped all the way out here, I think you owe me an answer."

"Shouldn't be you be restin'?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you."

"Talk 'bout what?" He adjusted his crossbow.

"Before...when it was just us—you and me us—I was wonderin'..." She met his eyes. "Why did you look so defeated? Once you saw Carol...you changed. Why?"

"Uh-uh." He shrugged.

"Don't uh-uh." She leaned against the rail. "Tell me."

He looked into her eyes, but said nothing.

She searched deep and found her answer buried in those irises. All she could say was, "Oh." She averted her eyes and brushed her fingertips over the water drops on the rail. She was silent for a long time then tapped her fingernails and stepped back. "Carol went to sleep without eating." She tilted her head. "I think you need to get on her about that."

"Tsk. I ain't her keeper."

"Never said you were." She stepped back to the front door. "Got some food left. Ty got a bowl. If you want it, it's yours." She disappeared into the house.

He didn't go inside, but Ty came outside. "How're you doin'?" Daryl didn't look at him.

"I keep thinking of how many ways that could've ended differently." He sat down. "I can't believe she would..."

"She was the one feedin' the walkers," Daryl said. "Probably did in that rabbit too."

He ran his hands over his face and sighed heavily. "I always thought...whoever killed that rabbit...was the same person that killed Karen and David, but Lizzie's... She's too small."

"You wanna know who killed 'em?" Daryl looked over.

"Right now, I just want to get out of here. Maybe we should go to Terminus."

"Talkin' 'bout that before." Daryl met his eyes. "We oughta, but not all of us. Maybe two, just to see if it's a good place to be."

"Makes senses, I guess. I don't want to lose any more people." He shook his head.

"Me neither."

They kept watch as Beth tended to the dishes and Judith as Carol and Mika rested. They would have a lot to talk about in the morning, right now they all needed to rest. They would decide who went and who stayed later. Carol needed to keep Mika close, and Daryl needed to be close to Carol. Beth and Ty wouldn't make it far out there. He wasn't stable right now, and Cheerleader Beth would eventually run out of energy to cheer him on when her ankle hurt like hell and was swollen ten times its normal size. They'd take a few days, come to a decision and then send two. If those two didn't come back, they would know if Terminus was good or not.

––

Rick and Michonne moved toward Terminus, Carl was tossing the jasper up and down, bored, and Rick and Michonne spoke softly about what to do if they weren't a sanctuary for all. Carl overheard and turned to face them, closing his fingers around the jasper. He waited until his father went ahead to check the snare.

"What do we tell them?" Carl asked. "About us, I mean."

"What do you mean?" Michonne asked.

"Do we tell them who we are? All of it?" He looked at Michonne. "How do we even do that anymore? Hi, I'm Carl Grimes, everyone I know is dead or missing."

"We'll tell them the basics. I'm Michonne, you're Carl and that's Rick. If they want to know more, well...we'll tell them."

"Should we lie?" He stuffed the jasper into his pocket. "When they ask about us, do we lie?"

"For every reason you have to lie, there's a better reason to tell the truth." She tipped his hat. "Don't worry about it, Carl. We'll tell who we trust, and if it's just us then we'll be the only ones who know."

He nodded.

"Well, it ain't much." Rick showed them their catch when they met him.

"It's better than nothing," Michonne told him.

They took a break, cooking the rabbit, and they ate. It wasn't much, but it would get them through the day. They pressed on, Michonne and Carl played a few travels games, and Rick smiled at how childish Carl was being. It was a welcome thing.

––

Daryl woke to a strange sound, and he went to investigate. He found Beth, Carol, Mika and Tyreese in the living room...dancing. He remained hidden, just watching and his lip tugged upward at them. It was the first time he'd seen Carol smile like that or Mika. It'd been too goddamn long.

Beth sat on the couch, using her legs to make a beat. She was starting a new song. Great. "_I see this life like a swinging vine, swing my heart across the line. And my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find. Old, but I'm not that old. Young, but I'm not that bold. I don't think the world is sold. I'm just doing what we're told. I feel something so right doing the wrong thing. I feel something so wrong doing the right thing. I could lie, could lie, could lie. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive._"

Mika laughed when Tyreese spun her, and Carol was kind of dancing with Judith. It was actually amazing to see them like this. Ever since the prison fell, Daryl thought this could never happen. Laughter and dancing and singing. It was a comfort, even if Beth's voice drove him up the wall.

"And switch!" Beth called out, letting Carol switch partners with Tyreese. Mika laughed, smiling so big that it looked like it hurt, and Carol was smiling because of that. It accentuated her eyes, giving her a soft more beautiful tone, and he wanted to step in and—_**Don't**_, he sternly told himself. _**Not now**_.

"_Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard. Said, no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars. Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard. Said, no more counting dollars, we'll be, we'll be counting stars._"

Daryl leaned against the wall and shook his head to try and clear it.

"_I feel the love and I feel it burn. Down this river, every turn. Hope is a four-letter word. Make that money, watch it burn. Old, but I'm not that old. Young, but I'm not that bold. I don't think the world is sold. I'm just doing what we're told. I feel something so wrong doing the right thing. I could lie, could lie, could lie. Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly._" Beth smiled at little laughs Judy was making. "_Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard. Said, no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars. Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard. Said, no more counting dollars, we'll, we'll be counting stars. Take that money, watch it burn. Sink in the river, the lessons are learnt. Take that money, watch it burn. Sink in the river, the lessons are learnt._"

Mika stopped when she saw Daryl and went over to him. "Daryl! You have to join us!" Mika beamed.

He shook his head. "Nah, I ain't one for dancin'."

"Oh, please! You have to!" She looked at him with big, blue eyes.

Beth jumped in. "Hey, Mika, why don't we finish while we pick peaches and find more pecans?"

"Okay. I love pecans!"

They left the house, Mika held Beth's hand, and Carol smiled a little to see Mika still happy. They had to put on a brave face and smile, because if they were depressed, Mika would never recover. It was hard, but she was a child, and they needed to be careful. She was sensitive.

"I'm too old for this," Carol admitted, sitting down.

"That ain't true," Daryl automatically and softly replied.

She shrugged a shoulder. "She looks so happy today. It's been two days, but she's coping. Beth's been a real help."

"Hey," Tyreese interrupted, "don't go selling yourself short. You're the main reason that little girl gets out of bed everyday."

She smiled. "You're a terrible lair, but you're a sweet lair."

_Okay, now do._ Daryl blinked. What the hell? He noticed the look they momentarily shared, and he stepped back for a moment. Did he... Was that real? Was he still dreaming? What the hell just happened? He knew that Carol and Tyreese were close, but Ty always had a thing for Karen. Did that change? Did he like Carol now? Or was Daryl misreading this? Was he being protective of her? After what happened...what he'd said... Wait. Had Carol heard that? She was unconscious by then, so maybe she didn't. After so many years of being with her and nearly losing her and when he finally gets the balls to tell her how he felt about her...and she didn't fucking hear him. That's why she wasn't acting any differently, didn't understand his persistence. Son of a bitch!

"So, have you thought about it?" Tyreese asked Daryl.

"Huh? Er, yeah. I have."

"Carol?"

She nodded.

"And you both agree?" Tyreese glanced between the two of them.

"Yes. Daryl and I will go to Terminus and see if it's safe for the girls." She didn't want to lose another child. She couldn't handle it. "We'll leave in the morning."

He nodded. "I'll tell Beth." He turned and went out the way the girls left.

"You feelin' up for this?" Daryl chewed his bottom lip.

"If it protects Mika and Judith and Beth, I'm up for it." She rose and closed the space between them. "I'll see you at dinner. I'm going to prepare my bag then take a walk." She left before he could say anything more. He hoped she would be more willing to take to him while they were out. They really needed to talk. He had to know if she heard. He just had to know.


	5. He Knows

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

**––**

Daryl double-checked the supplies in the morning. Carol wasn't up yet, but neither was the sun. He wanted to make sure everything was ready without Mika badgering him on why she couldn't come with them. Mika had asked last night why they all weren't going to Terminus, and she knew that people were dangerous, but Carol—all of them really—didn't want her to know how dangerous. She was little beacon of hope, and none of them wanted to see that die.

He filled a few bottles with water and made sure he had the heavier bag. He didn't want Carol to strain herself. She'd thought a lot these past few days. Her arm and Lizzie's...death and all the memories that brought that up. He wanted her to be comfortable. If she knew he had the heavier bag, she would worried about him straining himself or be pissed. He wasn't going to take his chances. He set his crossbow over the bag that was his and went outside to round up a few peaches.

Carol heard the front door shut, and she opened her eyes, no longer able to pretend to be sleeping. She'd slept some, not enough, but it would do. She had to be focused for this. If anything went wrong, they had to make sure Ty and the girls knew that place wasn't safe. They'd have to let everyone know that Terminus wasn't safe. They just had to get there. It was only a few days away on foot. It shouldn't be that far.

She tried to roll over, but she found something—someone—stopping her. She lifted her arm and found Mika curled up asleep with her back against Carol's. Carol hadn't noticed or felt Mika get into the bed. How strange. Why was Mika lying with her? Was Mika so scared of losing Carol that she felt the need to sleep with her? Or did she not want to be alone at night? Beth did sleep near Judith in the living room some night, though Beth was down the hall in Mika's room, and with Lizzie gone, Mika had her own room. _It looks like Mika doesn't like that room_, Carol smiled to herself, though.

"We were just playing..." Mika mumbled. "Naming them... It was a game..."

Carol set her hand on Mika's forehead and gently pushed stray blond hair from her face. "Shh, it's all right. You're just dreaming."

"Mmm..." Mika snuggled closer to the pillow and stopped talking.

Carol slipped gently out of bed, grabbing her gun and boots and leaving the room. She found the bags Daryl had prepared and set her gun on the table, slipping her feet into her boots and adjusting them. She heard Daryl entering the house and lowered her foot to the floor, setting the gun in its holster. She faced him and offered him a small smile as a greeting.

"What's got you up so early?" Daryl inquired.

"Mika's tossing and turning," she lied. "Do you need a hand? Granted I only have one to offer, but it's better than none."

"Nah, I'm done now. I hada keep my mind off things."

"Things?"

"It's nothin'."

"Tell me, Daryl." She leaned against the table. "I'm the same person I've always been. You can trust me."

"The woman I knew wouldn't have killed Karen and David," he replied. "It's nothin'."

"Nice excuse."

He set the peaches down beside her. "Got your things ready?"

"Yes."

"Go, 'cause we're leavin' earlier. I'm restless, so we'll be goin' soon. I gotta get the food." He went into the kitchen to grab the jar of pecans from the shelf, and he heard something in the living room. He shook his head and looked over the jars they had, trying to decide if they would take two or just one. Carol would get sick of them soon, but food was food. It was better than nothing.

He grabbed two jars and put them in Carol's bag. He noticed Carol wasn't by the door, and he heard a thud. He grabbed his crossbow and followed it. When he found the cause, his heart nearly stopped at the sight of the cause of the noise.

––

"_Why can't I come with you?" Mika asked Carol as they looked for dinner._

"_Because two is enough, and I want to make sure you and Beth and Judy are safe. Tyreese is going to protect you."_

"_Do you promise to come back?" Mika met her eyes._

"_I can't pro—"_

"_No, promise me you'll come back." She grabbed Carol's sleeve. "If you don't promise, I'll follow you."_

"_Fine, I promise I'll come back." In this life or the next. "Now, let's pick up the pace."_

_They trudged through the woods, Carol humored Mika with a game of "I Spy", and they had fun with it. Mika was very intelligent, and Carol had made a decision to let Mika learn how to dress a wound, not inflict one. Carol could see, no matter how much it disappointed her, Mika wasn't a killer, but a healer. Carol could and would teach her both. She would teach Mika how to be strong and how to protect herself against more than walkers. She may only have two days, but if they make it back or if Terminus is a good place, Carol would teach Mika everything she knew. _

_Mika spotted some pretty flowers down by the water, and she went over to them, adjusting the gun Carol had given her earlier than day. Carol hadn't told Mika that was the same gun that ended Lizzie's reanimation. Mika needed a better gun, something that suited her, fit her hand, and the one she had before was too clunky, but Carol's was just right. Carol carried Lizzie's now, and Beth had Mika's. _

"_They're so pretty." Mika touched the soft petals._

"_They are." Carol set a hand on her back. "Maybe we can take some back with us." She ran her hand through Mika's hair and set a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. "You okay?"_

"_No." Mika curled her arms around Carol's waist and snuffled._

_Carol patted her back and eyed the flowers. "Why flowers?"_

"_Hmm?" Mika looked up at her._

"_Why flowers? For Lizzie, I mean."_

"_Because of our mommy." She released Carol and sniffled. "Mommy loved flowers and always smelled like them, so when Lizzie got upset at all, Daddy and I would remind her of Mommy."_

"_She must've loved your mother very much."_

"_We did. Mommy was always good at soothing Lizzie, so...the flowers kinda symbolize her, I guess."_

"_I see." She started walking away, and Mika fell into step beside her. "What happened to your mother? You never told me."_

"_She got infected when we were leaving. She was the first one Lizzie and I had seen change, but Lizzie was right there when it happened. She almost got Lizzie too, but Daddy was right there, and he..." She trailed off._

"_When we get home, why don't you and I find a book and read it before dinner?" Carol offered._

"_I'd like that." Mika smiled._

_A twig snapped, Carol reached automatically for her knife, and Mika gasped, her heart stopping, but it was only a deer. It was so small, beautiful. Carol noticed how Mika looked at it, and Carol frowned. They needed the meat, and Mika wasn't going to be happy about this._

"_Can you make that shot?" Carol asked._

"_Huh?" Mika looked at her and pale. "No! No, I could never—"_

"_You have to," Carol pressed. "We need food—meat—and I know you can make that shot."_

"_No! I can't!"_

"_Mika, if you miss...that's okay. Failing is normal."_

"_No, Carol, that's not what I—"_

"_Try."_

"_Carol, I can't kill it. It's not about failing or missing, I can't kill it. We—we have peaches," Mika optimistically told her._

"_Mika—" Carol stopped. "—run!"_

_Mika looked over and found twenty walkers stumbling out of the woods. "No, I won't leave you."_

"_Get the others! Go!"_

_She was so torn. She didn't want to leave Carol in case something horrible happened, but she and Carol couldn't take them all out. She took off running back to the house, Carol dropped the front row, and Mika saw Ty and Beth on the porch with Judy, looking for why someone was shooting. "Help!" Mika shouted. "Carol! We need help!"_

"_Get inside." Tyreese bolted down the steps and ran in the direction Mika was pointing to._

_Beth was conflicted, holding Judy close, and Daryl came flying out of the house, and Mika told him the same thing. Daryl didn't even listen to hear her finish, just hearing "Help and Carol" made him take off, and Beth screamed at Mika when she went after Daryl and Tyreese._

"_Mika, get back here!" Beth called. "Mika!"_

_Mika stopped in the yard and looked back at Beth. She had to do this, but she was scared. She didn't want to be afraid anymore. She didn't want to lose anyone else, but she couldn't accomplish either of those by staying. She had to get to them. She shook her head and started running, and when she caught up to them, most of the walkers were dead. She struggled to catch her breath, gripping her gun, and she swallowed, about to join them when something caught her hair._

"_Carol!" Mika screamed as the walker's fingers tangled into her long, blond hair. "Carol!"_

_Carol spun around. "No!" She shot the walker in the head and rushed over to her. "Are you okay? It didn't get you, did it?"_

"_No." Mika started crying. "I—I'm okay."_

"_You should've stayed at the house." Carol helped her stand and kept her close with her arm. "Daryl? Tyreese?"_

"_We got this!" Daryl bashed in the skull of the walker in front of it. "Go, get the girl inside!"_

_Carol and Mika walked back to the house, Beth was pacing the porch anxiously, and Mika hurried inside to avoid Beth's wrath. Carol told her what happened, and Beth went inside and dug through the drawers. Carol heard Judy's cry and went to see her, leaving Beth to ransack the kitchen, and Carol smiled at the young girl._

"_Shh, it's all okay." She picked her up and held her close. "You're okay. Shh."_

_Judy began to quiet, Carol remembered how difficult it was to get Sophia to sleep and felt a tug at her heart, but she didn't think on it long, because Beth stormed by with a pair of scissors in her hand. Carol followed her and found Beth in Mika's room. Carol almost asked what she was doing, but Beth answer by grabbing Mika's hair in her hand and cutting it off, leaving it above shoulder-length._

"_What was that for?" Mika asked, staring at the handful of hair in Beth's hand._

"_This is for your own protection." Beth tossed it into the trash and grasped her own ponytail, chopping it. "There. No walkers or men can use this against us." She tossed it in the trash and gave Mika a reassuring smile. "Now, we match."_

_Mika looked from Carol to Beth and then her own shortened hair and smiled. "Yeah...we do."_

_Beth tucked loose hair behind her ear. "Let's find some hair ties. I bet we can pull it back in pigtails."_

_She nodded and slid off the bed. "Does it look okay?" Mika asked Carol. _

_Carol saw the look Beth gave her, pleading her to just go along with it, even if her hair length didn't matter now. "It's you," Carol told her. "It's nice."_

_Mika beamed and hugged her. "Thank you."_

_Beth smiled and crossed her arms, feeling an inner warmth at the sight of Carol and Mika and Judy. Her heart may be broken, but this feeling gave her hope that it would eventually heal. She had family and love here. Everything would be okay. She just knew everything would work out._

_Daryl and Ty entered the house as Beth pulled Mika's hair back and Carol fed Judy. Daryl let Ty clean up first and noticed the hair difference. He said nothing, but gave Mika a small nod. Mika pretended not to noticed so he wouldn't get embarrassed, and she braided her doll's hair._

"_So, when's dinner?" he asked, wiping his bloody blade on his jeans._

"_When you get cleaned up, I'll make something," Beth told him then scolded. "Daryl, I have to wash those. Stop right now!"_

"_Yes, ma'am." His knife was clean now anyway. _

"_Ha ha." Beth glared. _

_Daryl smirked and left the room, removing his crossbow, Beth finished Mika's hair and went to see what they could have for dinner, and Carol tended to Judith. It was almost normal. They knew the dangers that were just outside, and Carol wondered if today's events changed anything in Mika, but one look at her while she was playing told Carol nothing had._

"_Get some rest, Beth," Carol told her after everyone was sleeping. "It's late." _

"_I want to talk to you." Beth nodded toward the backyard, and they went outside. Beth knew that Ty was keeping watch tonight, because Daryl was unconscious in the bedroom. "Listen." Beth smiled. "I can hear the crickets."_

"_Yeah, it's nice." She turned to her. "What do you want to talk about?"_

"_You and Daryl." She crossed her arms. "Why are y'all actin' so...bitter?"_

"_We aren't."_

"_You're avoidin' him, though. I can tell."_

"_Why does it matter what I'm doing? Their my actions."_

"_You love each other," Beth retorted. "And I'm sick of the flirtationship y'all have goin' on."_

"_A...what?" Carol then shook her head. "Hold on. Why do you think Daryl loves me?"_

"_He told you. He doesn't know I heard him, but I did." Beth searched her eyes. "You didn't hear him."_

"_Daryl doesn't love me, Beth. He thinks of me as a good friend."_

"_No, he loves you. He said it when you were blackin' out. You may not remember, but I do, and he does. Y'all need to talk."_

"_B—"_

"_We don't meet people by accident. They're meant to cross our path for a reason," Beth interrupted. "My mom always told me that, and I know that you and him were made for each other. I've... I've only seen real love in this world through Maggie and Glenn and Patricia and Otis. I know what it looks like, and I've noticed the way you look at each other."_

"_I need to check on Mika." Carol walked by her and headed to Mika's room._

"_Carol Peletier." Beth shut the door in Carol's face. "No. You ain't leavin' that easy."_

"_I'm being lectured by a child." She crossed her arms. "What do you want me to do?"_

"_Don't do that! Don't be cold! I know you care. You can pretend like you don't to protect yourself, but you are alive, and there is a man who loves everything about you. How can you brush that off?"_

"_Because love ends badly for me," Carol snapped. "Love has left me with nothing—literally nothing! I lost the only thing that ever mattered to me, and I refuse to lose someone that close to me again."_

"_Can you die tomorrow and not regret talkin' to him?"_

"_This is between Daryl and me, but I appreciate your concern."_

"_I'm just tryin' to help, because you need it." Beth blocked Carol when she tried to leave again. "Just try."_

"_Good night, Beth." Carol moved her arm and walked away, but not before Beth said, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm the pass." Carol shook her head. She had her own plans, and Daryl only interfered with them. She couldn't be weak right now. She had to keep her resolve._

_Carol lied down and found Mika in her bed, sleeping soundly. Carol rolled away and sighed. Maybe._

––

Tyreese held Carol against the wall, her feet off the ground and he was choking her. Carol was trying to pry his hand off, but she wasn't succeeding. Daryl tackled Tyreese and wrestled his weapons from him, Carol fell to her knees, gasping and coughing, and Daryl struggled to overpower Tyreese.

Daryl tossed Tyreese's hammer and gun away, rolling off him and he helped Carol to her feet. "The hell are you doin'?!" Daryl roared.

"He knows," Carol told him, gripping her throat.

"She killed Karen and David," Tyreese growled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't important. We hada get those girls to shelter, not kill each other."

"They have shelter now." Tyreese stood up.

"You ain't this guy," Daryl told him. "You ain't a killer."

"People change—she did." He was glaring at Carol, and Daryl pushed her behind him, holding her by her belt in case she tried to move out from behind him and do something stupid, like try to stop Ty.

"Hey, Ty, I get it, man. I wanted to rip the Rick to pieces when I found out he abandon Merle, but that don't change the fact that Rick was a good person. He made a bad decision, and he tried to right it, and I forgave him."

"You want me to give her a second chance? She didn't give Karen or David a second chance. She just killed them and burned them. And for what? It didn't stop anything!"

"This ain't you, Ty." Daryl felt Carol trying to get away from him, and he tightened his grip.

"I helped them," Carol told Tyreese. "They would've drowned in their own blood. I—I saved them from that terrible fate."

"We could've saved them!" he shouted.

"There were people in that cell block that were already walkers," Daryl pointed out. "People who got infected a day later. Karen and David woulda died, and you woulda been the one to kill 'em."

"Wasn't it more compassionate to stop their pain before it really begun?" Carol asked softly. "I may have failed to stop the virus, but I did end their pain." Carol suddenly thought of Lizzie and how she was sick then of her beautiful little girl, and she felt a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt so empty, and her eyes burned. She couldn't save them. The two that meant the most to her, she couldn't save.

"You're a good man," Daryl told him. "You don't wanna do this." Daryl could see Ty's anger shift as he eyed Carol.

"Get out." Tyreese turned away. "I needa think, and you should go."

"Take care of the girls. C'mon." Daryl led her out of the room and to their supplies, Carol pulled on the backpack he handed her, and he shouldered his, holding his crossbow. "Let's go."

They headed out, Carol kept trying not to think of Mika as another dead girl, and Daryl kept her in his sights. As they disappeared behind the trees, Mika sighed softly. Mika watched from the window, holding her doll close and hoping she would see them return.


	6. Walk This Line Together

Carol adjusted her backpack, Daryl was walking ahead, and Carol was trying not to trip on the tracks. The rocks were hard on her boots, but the wood and the rocks made her feel like she'd lose her balance. She was trying to keep her mind off of what Beth had said shortly before they left. She and Daryl hadn't spoken two words to each other since they left the pecan groove. She wasn't in the talking mood, and she sensed he knew that. It didn't matter though, Daryl wasn't a talkative man to begin with. She was grateful for that right now.

"Carol."

She saw walkers up ahead, but only four, and Daryl had gotten one already. She grasped her knife and took out the one closest to her then the one that stumbled toward her. Daryl was ripping his bolts out of the heads of two he had killed. She wiped the blade on the pant leg of the walker in front of her, feeling his eyes on her.

She sheathed her knife and walked by him, and he fell into step beside her. They walked in silence for an hour and a half, according to the shadows Daryl was keeping track of, and he stopped in Carol's path.

"Where's your knife?"

"On my belt."

"Gimme it." He held his hand out.

"Excuse me?"

He reached over to take it, but Carol automatically jumped back and turned, so he couldn't see or take it. He smirked. Good reflexes. "I ain't gonna hurt you."

"It's my knife, you don't need it."

"I do. Lemme show you something." He took out his own knife and held it out to her. "Aim at that tree."

"Why?" She didn't take the knife.

"'Cause I know your right-handed, and that was where you was bit."

"The same one you hacked off."

He studied her face, and it clicked. He got closer, probably glaring, and he locked eyes with her, pissed. "You're mad," he said. She said nothing, but averted her eyes. "You're really gonna be pissed that I saved you? 'Cause I didn't break the pact?"

"It was my choice."

"Okay, sure, Andrea."

"I'm not saying I wanted to die then, but it was my choice. You can't make decisions like that. I'm perfect capable of taking care of myself, of making my own choices, and the fact that you didn't let me..._that's_ what pissed me off."

"So, you're pissed that I made a choice for you? It was necessary! I wasn't 'bout to let you die!"

"I didn't ask you to be my hero."

He wasn't anyone's hero, but if she wanted to give it a title then he wasn't going to argue. It wasn't important. "Too damn bad. I'm gonna look after you."

"For how long?" She was glaring.

"Always."

He clenched his jaw as she shook her head and pushed by him, heading up the tracks, smiling to herself, and he followed behind her.

––

"Let's take a break." Daryl stopped and headed for the trees.

"Daryl, I'm fine. I don't need a break."

"I gotta piss." He dropped his bag beside a tree and disappeared into the shade.

"Oh." She stepped off the tracks and rested beside his bag, removing her own bag. "We're making good time."

"Suppose." His voice was distant.

She ran a hand through her hair and rested her head on her knees. It'd been a few hours since they stopped and talked about improving her aim. They had talked a little bit about how far away Terminus was, but not much. She wasn't sure what else there was to talk about. She did need to strengthen her left arm, especially since it was do or die. If her arm tired, she was screwed. Daryl couldn't always be right there.

She rose and pulled her knife out of its holster and stepped away from the tree. She took aim and threw it as hard as she could. It bounced off the bark and landed a few shy inches from her boot. She picked it up and saw Daryl had returned and was watching her. "What?"

"Need some help?"

"No." She tried again, but it was the same result.

"Here." He scooped up the knife and walked over to her. "You're gonna strain your shoulder." He moved behind her, and for an instant, she froze. Daryl had been behind her on a number of times—most of them were unpleasant, like watching Sophia fumble out of the barn and when he carried out of the Tombs, ect—but this time, like many others, made her tense. She could smell the forest on him, and that made her mouth dry out. In the middle of all this, she still found someone who made her blood race. She didn't need the distraction, but not matter how many times she told herself that, it never worked. She couldn't just go back to how it was after telling him she loved him. She did love him, and it was starting to hurt. She just hoped it wasn't starting to show. "You ain't throwin' a baseball, all right?" She nodded. "Bring your arm back, but use your entire arm."

"What was I using before? My foot?"

"Try it now."

Before she could throw it, he found another issue. "What?" She turned her head.

"Your feet." He put his hands on her hips and she felt like an action figure. His hands were big and through the thin material of her shirt, she could feel how rough they were, but they were warm too. She felt embarrassed for having these thoughts when he was trying to help her improve her arm strength. She thought of Beth momentarily. Perhaps—

Daryl's voice called to her. "Plant your feet."

_No._ "I am."

"Then throw." He was almost playfully mocking. He stepped back, and she threw the knife. It landed evenly in the tree. "Try that 'bout fifty more times."

She smirked. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

He nudged her with his elbow then sat down beside him and began to shape durable sticks he found into bolts. If they found a sporting goods store, it would be a damn miracle. He needed bolts, sooner rather than later. He would have to make due with the homemade ones for now. Maybe Terminus had bolts. Or an army of assholes that were going to tear into them the minute they showed signs of not being the "same kind of people". He had a feeling this place wasn't going to be a happy, flower-filled, gated lot with polite people. If it was... Well, he wasn't getting his hopes up.

He looked up through his bangs and watched Carol throw the knife over and over. She was trying. That was an upside. At least he knew now why she didn't spend more then two minutes alone with him. He could understand her logical about him deciding for her after Ed, and he was glad to hear she didn't want to die. She probably thought there was no hope before. After all the shit that happened with the Governor, this was the hope. Finding Ty and the girls and Carol, finding the groove—even if they lost Lizzie there—it was all because Beth didn't give up on hope. Ty didn't give up on hope or Mika. Beth and Mika gave him hope. Who gave Carol hope? Who got her up and out of bed every morning? That was easy. Beth, Mika, Judith—anyone she had to take care of and everyone she loved. That included him.

It wasn't fair that he knew how she felt, but she didn't know how he felt. All this time, they both felt the same way, but neither of them had the courage to tell the other. They were all alone out here, and it wasn't as if she would reject him. He already knew how she felt. He had all the incentive he needed to tell him. He didn't need to be afraid. For the first time in his life, he didn't have to fear what someone he cared for thought of him, because he already knew what Carol thought. Since the farm and what happened to Sophia, she'd been telling him what she thought of him. Well, it was more like demanding him to be who he truly was. Was that woman still in there? After Karen and David...

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to stare?"

"Didn't I tell you to plant your feet?"

"Yes, and I am."

"Me too."

She paused then yanked the knife out of the tree, turning her back to him and smiling for a second then returning to business.

After Daryl had crafted half a dozen bolts, they started back on their trek to Terminus. The maps showed they were less than two days away, and that meant they had to form a plan. Daryl suggested going off the tracks and going around to take them by surprise. Carol agreed, and when night was coming, they found a cemetery.

"Just where I wanted to end up," Carol muttered.

"Better than bein' exposed."

They walked across the yard, Carol noticed one of the headstones read _Loving Father _and thought of Hershel, and in memory of the loving father they knew, Daryl plucked a flower out from behind them and set it on the headstone. He noticed how Carol lingered and knew she thought of how so many of their own never got a proper headstone, that their graves were unmarked and what marker they had would one day be gone and nobody would know who lay just underneath.

He reached over and grasped her hand more affectionately than comfortingly, her fingers intertwined through his and squeezed tightly. They had an elongated moment of silence for the dead, for those they knew and the ones resting here, dates unknown, before they went into the funeral home.

"It's well-kept." Carol looked around. "There's no dust."

Daryl stepped into the room beside them and ran his finger over the gray face of the dead guy in the casket. It was like touching moose. He wiped his hand on his jeans and noticed the piano. Beth probably would like. He was glad she was far away. He couldn't stand to hear her sing.

"Daryl!"

He bolted into the kitchen, but Carol was happy. He knew why the minute he saw the well stocked cabinets. "Shit." He pulled down the cola and jelly while Carol pulled down peanut better then pigs feet, groaning at them in disgust. "I'll take 'em." He took the jar.

"You aren't coming near me if you eat those." She found glasses and set them on the counter. "Daryl." She looked for a spoon, but he was already fingering out the jelly. She shook her head, but was smiling. "Fine, you enjoy that, and I'm going to see what else is around here."

He followed her down to the morgue since they didn't know if there were more people there, and Carol was so glad to see medial supplies. She emptied the drawer as Daryl looked over the instruments, finding a few useful ones.

"Whoever stays here must be kind," Carol randomly said as she stopped taking the medical supplies.

"How'd you figure?" Daryl asked.

"Look at him." She gestured to the body. "This person went out of their way to ensure this man and that father got a proper burial. With everything going on...they still took their time and...showed more human kindness than I've seen in a long time."

He frowned.

"At least it's felt like a long time," she added in a murmur.

"You all right?" She nodded then met his eyes and let out a small laugh. "What?" he demanded.

She reached over and wiped a glob of jelly off his cheek. "Will you use a spoon now?"

"Nah."

"Then at least carry this upstairs, please." She picked up the scalpel from the stand and headed up the stairs, but didn't disappear before Daryl saw her lick the jelly off her finger. And cringe from eating it plain.

He carried the bucket upstairs and filled her bag up with it as she spooned out peanut butter, using her thighs to keep it steady, and he joined her at the table. They ate until they were full then they boarded up the front door and set a sound trap outside the front of the house. Carol checked the upstairs and returned as Daryl got comfy in the casket.

She stopped beside him, setting her hand on the rim. "It's probably bad luck to sleep in a coffin, Daryl."

He shrugged. "Best bed I've had in days." He kicked his boots off. "Seriously."

"Still—bad luck. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Now you're just pushin' it."

"If you die tomorrow, you'll know I was right."

"If I die tomorrow, I ain't gonna regret this." He slipped his arm around her waist, bringing her right up against the casket, he leaned up and kissed her. It was a kiss they knew would eventually happen, once they both stopped denying the lies that other people had seared into their brains, but it was nothing like they had thought. It wasn't like a first kiss. It was more like a kiss between two people who had been together all of their lives and still had that passion, that fire, they felt the first time they kissed.

Carol broke the kiss, but didn't move away or open her eyes, and Daryl watched her very closely.

A beat.

"So, if sleeping in a casket is bad luck, this is _definitely_ going to send us to the grave." She leaned over and kissed him, and he helped her into the casket. It was surprisingly spacious and very comfortable. Daryl hadn't lied, though his lie was the last thing in her mind as he shifted to be on top.

Carol had _**rarely**_ let herself really think about what would happen if Daryl had ever taken in interest in her romantically, but when she did, she always thought it would be in the Tombs or in his cell early in the day when the others were outside tending to the gates. Never did she ever think this would happen in a funeral home in a casket where a dead was only hours ago.

Carol's mouth was sweeter than the jelly he had consumed, but it was perfect. He didn't have to worry about setting a mood. It was destroyed already by the fact that they were in a casket in a funeral home, but the candles that she had lit to give them lights set a gentle sort of mood. He didn't really care. Carol was right there, responding to his touch and looking at him with more love than he had ever had any woman give him. He had only seen this look given to Sophia, Mika, Judith and Lizzie in a motherly way, but the look she gave him—love and desire entangled—made him feel something he hadn't felt before in his life: _someone_. He was _someone_, not a nobody, not some asshole's little brother—someone. He would never lose this feeling, because not only had he finally realized he'd earned it, but because it was another thing Carol had given him that he thought he couldn't be.

––

The chairs in front of the casket were littered now with undershirts, shirts, jeans, underwear, boots, and a bra, and the candles were dimmer now as pink and gold broke through the night sky. Daryl and Carol both slept in the casket, his shirt was wrapped around Carol's body to keep her warm, partly covering him. It was the first night they had both slept peacefully and through the night.

Daryl woke with the sun, used to taking second shift from Ty, and he found Carol sound asleep beside him. He felt a smile cross his lips, and he sat up, care not to wake her as he got out. He dressed and just as he finished buttoning up his shirt, the sound trap went off.

Carol woke instantly. "Walker?"

"Stay here." He grabbed his crossbow and went to the door, checking through the slits, and he opened the door to the small, mangy dog outside. "Hey, boy." He slowly leaned down. "Easy. I ain't gonna hurt you."

At the sight of Daryl's hand coming at him, the dog took off. Daryl stood up and shook his head.

"What is it?" Carol asked.

"Nothin', just a dog." He closed the door as Carol stepped into the room. He made sure it was locked before he turned to her. "I told you to stay there."

"Daryl, you said there was a dog," she teased.

"You ain't even dressed," he continued to scold her. She only had on his shirt and maybe her underclothes.

"Fine. I'll get dressed."

"I kinda like this look."

"Should I be concerned that you want me to be attacked by rapists and walkers or that you're attracted to dingy jean shirts?" she teased.

He grasped her hips and brought her closer. "Neither." He kissed her, guiding her back to the casket and picking her up.

"Daryl," she started.

"Stop," he replied, kissing her.

––

Beth stopped and backed up at the sight of Mika staring out the window into the rain that poured down. She closed the book she was reading and went over to her. She set a hand on her shoulder and sat beside her, resting the book and her hands in her lap.

"It's pretty out there," Beth noted. "It's good for the fruit."

"And the flowers," Mika mumbled.

"You're thinkin' about Carol and Daryl again, aren't you?"

"I'm always thinking about them. It's been two days." She looked at Beth now. "What's taking so long? Are they dead? Did someone hurt them?"

Beth stared. She had expected Mika to ask if they had found someone who needed help or did they get lost, but never dead or taken. Lizzie's death really messed with her head. Beth hoped that didn't make her another Lizzie, because if she tried to hurt Judith, Beth didn't think she could stop Mika. She loved her like a little sister. She didn't want to see anything bad to happen to her. What would Maggie do? How would she keep Mika mind busy?

The book felt heavy in Beth's lap. "Don't worry about them. Daryl will protect Carol with his last breath, and Carol would never let anything happen to Daryl. They're a good match." She took Mika's hand. "Let me read you a story. It's good. I promise."

"Okay."

Beth led her to the living room where Judy was resting in her crib, and they sat on the couch, feeling the warmth of the fireplace. Beth opened to the first page and read from a story by A.E. Housman:

When I was one-and-twenty

I heard a wise man say,

"Give crowns and pounds and guineas

But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies

But keep your fancy free."

But I was one-and-twenty.

No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty

I heard him say again,

"The heart out of the bosom

Was never given in vain;

'Tis paid with sighs a plenty

And sold for endless rue."

And I am one-and-twenty,

And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.

Beth glanced at Mika, and she saw slight confusion on the young girl's face. Beth turned to a random page and was about to read, but the title was anything but inviting._ Not Waving But Drowning_ by Steve Smith.

"What?" Mika leaned over and read the title. "Read it."

"I can find—"

"Read it," Mika repeated.

"Fine." She cleared her throat and glanced at Mika, who was listening intently. Beth couldn't get out of it now. Maybe the meaning was more uplifting than the title. If it wasn't, Beth was burning this book. She knew she should've grabbed the one that looked like a kid's picture book.

Nobody heard him, the dead man.

But still he lay moaning;

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving, but drowning

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he was dead.

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And now waving, but drowning.

"If the man died just then...how could the one that's alive be too far out all his life?" Mika asked.

"Do you want me to answer that or read another one?" Beth replied.

"Another one, I guess. I'll think on it, and I'll ask Carol when she gets back."

Beth smiled. "Good plan."

"Read that one." Mika was pointing to something that was written into the front of the book, and Beth nodded.

I shall be telling this with a sigh.

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

"Who wrote that one?" Mika asked.

"Robert Frost."

"I like it."

"There's one by E.E. Cummings that I've always loved." Beth closed the book. "Let's see if I can remember it. It's called_ I Carry Your Heart (I Carry It In My Heart)_."

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart.)

I am never without it.

Anywhere I go, you go, my dear;

and whatever is done by only me

is your doing, my darling.

I fear no fate,

for you are my fate, my sweet.

I want no world

for beautiful, you are my world, my true.

And you are whatever a moon has always meant

and a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret no one knows.

Here is the root of the root and the bub of the bub

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life,

which grows higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide.

And this is the wonder that is keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart. (I carry it in my heart.)

"That's so pretty."

"It is." Beth felt sad inside, just a little. "Are you gonna ask Carol about that one too?"

Mika smiled. "No. I know what it means." She looked over and saw that Judith was awake.

Beth noticed too. She set the book down on the sofa in between her and Mika so that Mika would hopefully read it and not stare out into the rain. Bet didn't want her to think over every single scenario that could happen to Carol and Daryl while their out. She picked her up and headed for the kitchen to get her dinner.

"Hey, Beth?" Mika called.

"Yeah?" Beth paused in the doorway.

"Do you miss Maggie?"

"Every day."

She nodded. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Are you hungry? 'Cause I'm about to start dinner."

"No, I'm not hungry." She turned to look at Beth. "Will you be my big sister?"

Beth met Mika's eyes and saw a herself from the farm, right after Shane and the others killed her ma and big brother. She saw the Beth that just watched in horror as the only world she'd ever known was shattered before her eyes. Lizzie was a main part of Mika's world after Ryan died, and like any little sister, Mika depended on Lizzie for a lot, and now she was gone. Someone who had been with Mika since she was born, someone who teased her and helped her with schoolwork and taught her how to use a gun and how to keep her knife close...was dead by her choosing. Beth knew the feeling well lately, and she knew that Mika asking Beth to be in her family was a major step in mourning Lizzie. "I kinda thought I already was," Beth replied.

Mika smiled then she got up and hugged Beth tightly.

"Why don't I make dinner and you feed Judith?"

"Okay!"

They went into the kitchen, Beth handed Mika the jarred baby food and watched for a moment then began to prepare the squirrels she'd caught. Daryl had taught her one useful hunting technique while they were alone together, and the pecans were also helpful. Daryl would be proud if he saw her now, saw them now. He might now want to admit it, but he loves Mika and Judith like they were his own. Carol did too. Beth would keep them safe until they returned. She could be strong like Maggie, and she was. She'd learned a lot from both Maggie and Daddy, and she knew how to take care of herself and these girls. Mika wouldn't have to lose another sister, and Beth would see that smile more often. They needed some smiles around here.

––

Daryl set a hand on Carol's shoulder when she began to call out, she still instantly and her eyes opened. It was afternoon now. She needed to wake up, and after a nightmare like that, she didn't have to worry about falling asleep.

"Here." Daryl helped her out of the casket. "You all right?"

"I will be." She grabbed her boots and slipped them on.

"You were callin' for her again."

Carol's foot hit the floor loudly, and she lifted her head. "Lizzie?" she whispered.

"Sophia."

"I keep dreaming about her." She ran a hand through her hair. "Always the same dream."

"The barn?"

She shook her head. "I went after her with Rick. I saw her leave, and I tried to catch her. I run as fast as I can, but...the walker gets her every time. I don't have any weapons to kill it. I watch her scream and get away, just to run and hide, crying for me, apologizing for wandering away."

"There was nothin' you coulda done."

"If Lori hadn't held me back, maybe I could've gone after her and stopped the walker."

"You don't know that."

"But I don't know that either." She moved away when he tried to touch her, and she went upstairs to the bathroom.

He checked outside for any walker or the dog, but neither was there. He wasn't hungry anymore, so he decided to prepare the bags and make sure they had everything they needed before they left. He left the peanut butter she was eating out on the counter, and he went to fill the cola bottles with water.

Carol was on the stairs when he returned. "I'm sorry." She met his eyes. "I know she's gone and trying to change it in my mind is meaningless, but I've...relived that moment every night since, and there were so many ways I could've...done something."

"After the barn," he confessed, "I had dreams like that to."

"Why? You hardly knew her or me, for that matter."

"No, but I kept tellin' you I'd find her and get her back to you... I didn't."

"You did more for her than anyone ever did, and I am so grateful for that." She grasped his hand. She rested her head on his shoulder, and they sat in silence for a second.

"I lied," he whispered suddenly.

"About what?" She lifted her head, wary.

"'Bout thinkin' she was still out there. Well, I did think she was still out there, but that wasn't what kept me goin' out there, kept me goin'."

"What was then?"

"You."

"So, you looked for her to get away from me?" She was teasing. "Is that why you move ten miles away? To g—"

"You were always cryin' at the farm," he interrupted softly. "I wanted to see you smile again, and I knew Sophia was the only one who could bring out your smile."

She felt her lips pull into a smile. "I lo—"

The sound trap went off, Daryl hated that dog in that instant, but he wanted one good thing to come out this, so he grabbed the pigs feet off the table and opened it. He was giving that dog one more chance. Carol took the water to the kitchen and put her backpack on, a little embarrassed, as Daryl opened the door. There was shattering sound, and he called for her.

She rushed out and saw him struggling against the door with over a dozen walkers pushing against the door. She grabbed her gun.

"Save your bullets! Run! Go out the back and head for the road! I'll meet you!"

"I am not leaving you." She shot at the walkers pressing against the door.

He was able to slam it shut, she tossed his crossbow at him, and they headed for the back door. Walkers were against that door as well, Carol heard the front door give, and Daryl thought fast. Carol pushed him into the next room as the back door gave, and the walkers from the front made their way right into the walkers from the back. They hurried through the living/service room, the front door was blocked by more walkers, so they went upstairs.

"The window." Daryl grabbed the lamp and threw it out the window, shattering the stained glass. He glanced down once, and it wasn't that long of a fall. "Go. Head for the road."

Carol jumped out of the window, and the walkers were on her before she could look to see if Daryl was coming. She took off running toward the road.

Daryl saw the walkers below, and he knew if he jumped down, he was lunch. He went into the bedroom and opened the window in there, climbing out onto the room. He slid and rolled off the roof, landing in the front yard. Thankfully, his adrenaline had kicked in, and he didn't feel it. He shot up and took off toward the road with only a few walkers after him.

He saw Carol's tracks and was glad she knew where to go. He ran faster, eager to see her and make sure she was all right. He also wanted to see her bag for painkillers, because he may have landed on a rock and his adrenaline rush was wearing off slowly, and it hurt like hell.

As Daryl stepped out onto the road, he saw two things: Carol's bag on the ground and her knife beside it. He looked over and saw tire marks on the road, but the car was gone. Distantly, he heard it, and he ran through the woods, trying to catch it, and when he could see it, all he saw the cross on the back windshield taunting him as it got further and further away.


	7. Welcome to Terminus

Rick and Michonne and Carl looked over the building with the black letters across the front. Rick wanted to go around and catch them off-guard, but they didn't have the energy to move anymore. They had no real food for two days, and they were hoping for a miracle.

As they entered, they saw vegetables being grown and fruit and flowers. Carl was so tempted to dig up their gardens and eat everything, but something inside told him not to. He had a strange feeling about Terminus, so he stuck close to his dad and Michonne.

As they made their way to a woman at the grill, they stared in amazement as Glenn and Maggie and Sasha and Bob were at a table, laughing and eating. Glenn saw them and shot up, Maggie followed, and they ran and gave Rick and Michonne a long, warm hug. Maggie grabbed Carl and pulled him into her hug with Michonne.

Bob and Sasha joined them, giving Rick and Michonne a hug and smiling warmly at Carl. They introduced Rick and Michonne and Carl to Mary and to Tara and Abraham and Eugene and Rosita. They did a weapon's search, but got to keep their weapons. Mary made them each a plate, and they sat down with Maggie and Glenn.

"How have you been?" Rick asked Glenn.

"Better since we got here." Glenn squinted. "We kept hoping you guys would come and you have."

"Some of you anyway," Sasha added.

Maggie smiled a little. "I guess I don't have to ask if you're hungry."

They all turned and looked at Carl and Michonne, who were almost covered in their food, and they laughed. For the first time in days, Rick laughed deeply, and Carl and Michonne laughed too. They were the only ones in the courtyard, and Mary didn't seem to mind. It was great to be together and to have food and shelter. Rick would make sure they didn't have to leave ever. He would make it work. He wouldn't let Carl go hungry or put his family at risk. They had to stay.

After they ate, Mary, with Maggie and Glenn tagging along, showed them around, and it was beautiful place. There weren't any kids, and Carl felt a little awkward about being the only one there below five feet. Mary explained that they kids that had come had grown up. It reassured Rick.

"What can we do to contribute?" Rick asked as Mary showed him where he and Carl would be staying. "We'll help any way that we can."

"Oh, don't worry about that right now. Rest. You all looked exhausted." She showed them a room with beds. "We don't have much space at the moment, so you all will have to stay in here. It's only temporary, though. We're clearing out some one of the warehouses to make room."

"Thank you." Carl sat down on one of the beds. "Thank you very much."

She smiled warmly. "I'll let you get adjusted." She left.

"The bathroom's in the main building," Glenn told them. "You can shower there, but you'll have to wait for them to fit you into the schedule."

"You guys can shower now, though," Maggie added. "They don't mind since you're new and kinda disgusting."

"Well, I'm taking that offer." Michonne leaned against the wall.

"I'll show you." Maggie stepped out of the room. "Rick? Carl? Do you wanna come? It's lukewarm, but it feels really good."

"Maybe later." Carl removed his sneakers.

"I'll pass for now," Rick agreed.

"Here." Michonne handed her katana to Carl. "Watch this as if your life depended on it."

He nodded. "I won't take my eyes off it."

Maggie and Michonne left, Glenn closed the door and sat down on the second bed, and Carl flopped down on the one he was on, groaning in bliss at its comfort. Rick chuckled and Carol crawled up to the pillows and dropped.

"I've missed pillows." He buried his face into the soft material. "It's so comfortable."

"Simple pleasures." Rick sat down in the chair beside him. "So, how long have y'all been here?"

"A couple days," Glenn replied. "They're not letting us do anything either yet."

He nodded. "You look better."

"You too. Skinner from what I remember, but that'll change soon."

"That barbeque was awesome," Carl said, sitting up. "Do they have that every day?"

Glenn nodded.

Carl smiled. "Sweet." He paused though. "There's no catch, right? This place is good."

"Really good," Glenn reassured him. "I'm sure when the others get here, they're going to love it. I bet Lizzie's gonna like the garden. Mika too."

Carl dropped his eyes. "Judith would've liked it," he whispered.

Glenn glanced between them and his heart fell. He hadn't thought about the infant. He was so sure Judith had made it. He felt like an ass. Damn it, Carl looked so happy just a few seconds ago. Him and his big mouth. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," Rick told him. "You didn't know."

"I should've noticed."

"Glenn, don't beat yourself up over this. It's hard enough."

He slowly nodded. "Uhh. Oh yeah, Carl, they have a library here. You can read—"

"I think I'm gonna take that shower." He handed his dad the katana and quickly left.

Glenn sighed.

"He's not copin'," Rick told him. "Not good."

"I can see. Have you talked about it?" Glenn searched his eyes. "You didn't talk about Lori. You just—You should talk to him."

"I did this time. Michonne's been good for him."

"Michonne? Really?"

"She understands my son better than I do sometimes. It's good, though. I can't be his dad and his best friend."

"That happened to me growing up. Only I had sister who tormented me, and it was "we can't be your sisters and bullies" so they stuck to bullying me." He paused. "They could be the reason I have a lot of bottled up anger."

Rick snickered. "Sure."

Glenn stood up. "Go shower. It'll make you feel better. I'm gonna see if I get you guys some clothes."

Rick watched Glenn leave then he waited for either Carl or Michonne to get back from showering so that her katana and his pistol wouldn't be alone, and he looked around the room. It was handmade. They probably added the walls. It was impressive, solid and thick. He didn't hear Maggie beside him. Again, he was neighbors with them. He hoped they kept the noise down.

Michonne was the first to return. "I'll take that." She strapped her katana on. "Glenn has your clothes in the bathroom." She held up a key. "Apparently, they lock."

"You keep it." He met her eyes. "Sorry you got stuck with us."

"I've been sleeping with you both for days, and it doesn't bother me." She crossed her arms. "I think it's safe here."

"I do too."

"You can tend to the gardens again," Michonne teased.

"No, they ain't mine," he teased back. "You know how I am about my peas."

"Yes, I know. Go shower. I'll watch your gun and your son."

He removed his belt and handed it to her. "Thank you, and I don't mean just for this."

"I know what you mean, and you're welcome."

He left then and found the showers. There were solid curtains to the left and right with a middle that had four mirrors and sinks. On two sinks he saw clothes, and he wasn't sure whose were whose, because they were both for men, so he chose the bigger of the two. Carl's clothes were in a basket, so he dropped his in there as well and turned on the nearest shower. Lukewarm water shot at him, and it felt good. It pounded the pressure out of his body, and he stayed in until the water went ice cold.

"Here." A hand reached into the shower holding a towel.

He took it and wrapped it around his waist, pushing the curtain back, but no one was there. He saw the door shut, and the basket was gone. Carl's clothes were gone too, so it wasn't Carl. He was oddly relieved. That was a very feminine voice. He was uncomfortable with that, but it wasn't as if she pushed the curtain back and held out the towel, smiling like a stalker.

He dried off and dressed. He found Glenn talking to a man he'd never met, and the man introduced himself as "Gareth". They were going on a run for some mattress for the warehouse they were clearing out. He was asking Glenn to come, and Rick offered to come. Gareth seemed to think about it, but he shook his head.

"You should rest." He set a hand on Rick's shoulder. "You've been through a lot. I've had those bags under my eyes before too. You can help us when we get them, but for now, rest. Mary would have my head if I overworked you."

"I'm fine, really." Rick's skin crawled underneath this kid's hand.

"I just want to make sure you're really fine." He removed his hand. "Besides, my truck only fits three, and Glenn's been looking for something to do since he got here. We'll have jobs for you all soon enough until then sit tight."

"Don't worry. I'll probably only be lifting beds." Glenn shrugged. "And Abraham will be there."

"Be careful."

"I always am. I'm gonna tell Maggie."

Rick and Glenn went separate ways. Rick wandered around, Mary was feeding the others in the main yard, and he saw Bob working with some of the people. He guessed they didn't have a doctor here until now. That was good for them.

He walked to the front yard with the flowerbeds and gardens, and he sat down. He'd been thinking about this since he saw all those signs. All of the different ways to get to Terminus... If Carol saw one and came here, he couldn't stop her. He wasn't the leader. He didn't want her to be out there all alone, and he wanted her to find a group. He didn't expect to lose the prison when he banished her however, so he would just have to keep his distance if she came here. No one had to know. He would just keep an eye on her, Maggie would too, probably.

He sighed and ran a hand down his jaw. He really hoped Carol didn't come here. It was horrible, but he didn't know her. He couldn't feel bad for someone he didn't know. He had to focus on his son and his family. He couldn't worry about Carol every hour of the day. Not just Carol, but people here. If a flu hit them, he didn't want to know what Carol would do to strangers. What she did to her own was bad enough.

_No, please don't leave me._

He flinched and shook his head. He did need rest. He rose and headed back to his room. He tested the key—it locked from the inside—and he let Michonne keep it. Carl was asleep on the bed they were going to share, so he removed his boots and fitted into the space Carl had left.

Michonne laughed.

"I'm sleepin'."

"Really? 'Cause you look like you're playing sardine." She sat up. "You can't be comfortable."

"I've learned to sleep like this."

"I haven't learned to sleep with you like that." She moved over. "There's plenty of room here."

"No, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You need more sleep than Carl or I. I'm going taking a nap. I'll be up before you, so you can have the whole bed to yourself."

"You ain't gonna let me sleep until I move, will you?"

"No."

He stood up and moved onto the bed beside her. His body melted into the mattress and he fell asleep almost instantly. Michonne rolled onto her side and drifted off. It was silent and warm and comfortable and best of all, it was safe. It was pretty damn awesome.

––

"Yes!"

"Shh!"

Rick opened his eyes and looked over, seeing Carl and Michonne on the other bed, playing a card game. He was still tired, but he had to get up. "What time is it?"

"Seven." Carl drew a card. "Glenn stopped by."

"He's back?" He ran a hand over his face.

"He told us there were no problems," Michonne replied. "He left a bag by the door for us."

"What's in it?" Rick was on his feet, stretching.

"I don't know. I found these cards, and we've been playing ever since." Carl groaned when Michonne won that time. "There's probably toothbrushes and toothpaste, maybe floss." He picked up the bag and set it on Michonne's bed. "There's some clothes too." Carl didn't mention the ammo at the very bottom or the small first aid kit. He didn't want his dad to worry about why Glenn had given those items to them. Carl had asked. He wanted to make sure they could protect themselves, just in case something happened.

Rick lowered himself back down on the bed. "So, who's winning?"

Carl smirked. "Me."

"For now," Michonne shot back.

"Well, now, it's probably time for dinner." Carl opened the door. "Are you guys coming?"

"We'll be there shortly." Michonne gathered the cards. "If you're tired, you should go back to sleep."

"I'll be fine."

"Rick, you don't have to worry. The only responsibility you have right now is taking care of yourself. Trust me when I say I'll take care of Carl." She rose.

"I wish everyone would stop telling me what I should be doing."

"If enough people are telling you, maybe you should listen." She paused in the doorway. "If you want to talk about what happened, I'm here."

He lifted his eyes.

"You were talking in your sleep. Carl was in the bathroom, so he didn't hear. You never told us what happened when you got water."

"No," he said, deadpan. "I didn't."

She exited the room, and Rick followed. He wanted to know how many people were there, and he wasn't surprised when saw the dining area was full. There were about fifty people there, most of them were young and only a handful were middle aged. That was a little strange. How did they manage have no elderly?

Rick took a seat beside Glenn. "It went smoothly?"

"Yeah. It was a little boring, but we got the beds."

Maggie and Carl joined them, Carl gave Rick a plate of meat and carrots, and Rick thanked him. Michonne brought over water for them. They ate with a little conversation. Maggie was going to start helping out with cooking, and it wasn't the best, but it was a start. Carl told Rick that Mary said they could tend to the gardens, if they wanted. Rick smiled at him, glad to see that Carl actually wanted to do it.

"Thanks, Carl." Maggie handed him her plate, and he took them to the trash. "I talked to Gareth, and you and Michonne will be on patrol soon."

"It'll probably be the yard, but it's something." Glenn took a drink of water.

"Not much goes on around here, does it?" Carl asked when he came back.

"No." Maggie crossed her legs. "There's always the library. It ain't like the prison's, but they have some good books and puzzles."

"I guess I'll check it out." He rested his arms on the table. "So, who's left?"

"Left?" Glenn lowered his cup. "In our group?"

"Yeah, who isn't here? I know Beth and Daryl and Lizzie and Mika. Who else?" Carl looked around. "Carol."

"Ty," Michonne added.

"Most of them died from the flu," Maggie informed them. "We found the bus. Jeanette and all them didn't make it. I didn't see Tyreese or Daryl or Beth or the girls on there."

"Was Carol on there then?" Carl frowned.

"No. Carol wasn't on there."

He nodded. "So, five more?"

"Five more," Michonne repeated.

There was a silence now. Rick felt a lump in this throat that he couldn't swallow at the mention of Carol's name from his son's mouth. He didn't want Carl to know what she had done, because Carol was like a mother to Carl. He didn't want Carl to lose another mother. Maggie kept her head down, still feeling guilty about not telling Glenn about Carol. She didn't want him to have this weight on his heart like she did. Michonne noticed the way Rick and Maggie looked, and she had a feeling she knew what it was. Glenn was focusing hard on drinking his water, and Carl was wondering what kind of books they had. The world ends and book survive. It's a good thing he liked to read.


	8. Cold

Daryl went back to get the supplies from Carol's bag and her knife—always her damn knife. He'd had it more than she had. When he found her, he would make sure this knife never left her holster and she never left his sight. He was going to find her too.

He followed the leaves that had been tossed around by the car that had taken Carol—there was no wind today. He walked for hours, not stopping, even when the sun and hunger threatened to stop him. He wasn't able to swallow any food. He felt sick to his stomach, livid and terrified. He wouldn't let those bastards get away with this.

––

Near sundown, he saw the car. It was on the side of the road, smoking, and a tire was spinning. It crashed recently. He ran over to it and found two dead bodies inside. He dragged them out—two men with a clean knife wound to the head. He smiled. Carol had the scalpel. He looked around for any tracks, but there weren't any.

"Carol?" he called. "Carol! Carol!" He was getting flashbacks. _Sophia! __**Sophia**__!_ "**CAROL**!" he shouted.

Nothing. There was no movement, there was no response, and there was no sign of Carol. If Carol had gotten out, she would've waited. Unless someone or something was close by, and she didn't want to see if they were good or bad people. She would've waited for him. She knew he was coming, so where did she go? Why wasn't she here? Why were there no goddamn tracks?

"Carol!"

She was just right there. The engine was still warm. How could he lose her when he was so close? How does that happen? Were three guys inside? Did he overpower her? If he knew Carol—and he did—he knew she would've taken out the driver first. That's how they crashed,and then she would've taken out the passenger and gotten out. So, who took her? The third guy? People don't disappear. Not on his watch.

He checked the truck, but there was only rope and tape. He ground his teeth, but he noticed prints by his feet. There were a man's. He saw them go around the car, and he noticed fingerprints on the window. Did someone save Carol? Was she unconscious? He noticed the ropes weren't in the backseat. If they had bound her and she had killed them and gotten away, why would she keep the rope? It would be useless. She didn't leave a rope trail.

He shook his head and pushed the car into a stand position, which wasn't easy to do alone, but he had enough anger to kill that herd of walkers that cross the highway. He tossed one of the bodies on the roof and one by the door then got in the back and waited. It was useless to go after her in the dark and alone. He already didn't have her trail, so going and getting some help from Beth since Ty wasn't a possibility. There was no way he was sleeping tonight.

He thought of Carol and the casket. Well, if one good thing came out of their trip, it was having sex in a casket. Carol was right—it was bad luck.

––

Beth and Mika were gathering pecans for dinner, Judith was strapped to Beth's back, and even though it was hot, it was nice day to do this. Mika was getting a little tired of pecans, and Beth was over them entirely, but food was food. She wasn't going to complain. She was glad to have food that she could _be_ tired of.

"When will Tyreese come back?" Mika asked as they headed back to the house.

"Tyreese is here."

"But he isn't talking to us." Mika looked up. "He hasn't moved in days or eaten. Why?"

"I don't know, but don't worry. I'm sure everything will be fine." She smiled reassuringly down at Mika.

A loud sound drew their attention, Beth and Mika ran back to the house, and they found a car in driveway. It was a black car with a cross on the back windshield and tape over the lights. It was a little beat up, but that wasn't important. What was important was that someone was inside the car. Beth grabbed her gun and Mika gripped the basket of pecans tightly, swallowing hard.

Beth approached the car cautiously, taking the safety off, and she raised her gun as the door opened. Her heart nearly stopped when Daryl got out, and she sighed in relief, lowering the gun and turning the safety back on. She ran over to him and hugged him.

He removed her arms and was about to talk when he saw Mika on the porch, smiling happily. "Mika, go get Ty."

She nodded and went inside.

"Where's Carol?" Beth looked in the car. "She didn't—"

"No. She was taken. I need your help."

"Of course."

Mika and Tyreese came outside, Mika walked around the car to speak to Carol, and Daryl grasped her arm and crouched down to look into her eyes and not down on her. He set his hands on her shoulders and met her big, blue eyes.

"Carol's not with you...is she?" Mika spoke before Daryl could.

"No."

Ty lifted his head.

"Why not?" Mika demanded. "Was she bitten? Is she dead?"

"No. She ain't dead or got bit. Someone grabbed her." Mika whimpered. "Hey, I'll get her back. That's why I came back. I need y'all's help."

"No," Ty said.

"We have to help!" Mika turned to him. "We can't let them hurt her!"

"There's no way in hell I'm helping that woman, and she isn't coming back here," Ty spat. "Beth and the girls can, but not Carol or you, for that matter."

"What's goin' on?" Beth saw the hatred in Ty's eyes. "What happened between you three?"

"That ain't important right now." Daryl tried to get in the house, but Ty wouldn't move. "I ain't got time for this." He pushed by him and grabbed a bag, filling it with jarred goods and some clothes. If he and Carol weren't welcome back then they wouldn't come back. They would go to Terminus, and if that went to pot, they would keep going. There's bound to be someplace for them.

"I'm comin' with you." Beth gathered her things.

"All right."

"Me too." Mika was in the doorway. "Don't tell me I can't. I won't let anything happen to Carol. I can't lose her."

"All right. Get your stuff, kid." Daryl told Beth, "Ass Kicker stays."

"Will you take care of her?" Beth asked Ty.

"Of course I will."

Beth chewed her bottom lip. She was thinking over all of the things that could happen while they were gone. They could get overrun or some assholes could come and take this place or Ty would go back to not moving or eating and Judy would pay for it. She didn't want anything to happen to Judy. She was like her own daughter. She couldn't leave her here, but she had to help Daryl get Carol back. She was torn. If she could copy herself, she would do it right now. Son of a bitch.

"Beth, you can always stay," Daryl reminded her.

"No, I can't." She held Judith close. "I have to go."

Tyreese saw the conflicting thoughts in Beth's eyes, and he felt bad that he was causing them. He didn't want to help Carol, but not helping her wasn't right. He was signing her death warrant, and no matter how much he loved Karen, she was gone. Karen wouldn't want him to do this, to become cruel and distant. Carol had killed her and David, but she felt it. She didn't do it in cold blood. It was a part of her, like it was a part of him, and the only way Carol could make amends was by living. He had to forgive her, not just for her, but for him. He couldn't lose himself. If he did, he never deserved Karen.

"I'm going," Ty said softly.

Daryl nodded. "We're leaving in five minutes."

They all rushed to get ready, Beth packed up Judith's belongings, Mika made sure they had everything they needed, and Daryl and Tyreese got every weapon they could find. They might be going to war, and they were coming out of it with Carol. Tyreese had to tell her he forgave her for his soul, and Daryl had to get her back and hear those words she wasn't able to finish. He wasn't losing anyone else.

Mika set fresh flowers on Lizzie's grave. "Goodbye, Lizzie. I love you."

"Mika, you comin'?" Daryl called.

"Yeah!" She hopped up and ran to the car. "I'm sorry."

He saw the wet patches on her knees. "Don't be. Get in the back."

She nodded and got in the backseat with Beth and Judith, Ty got the last bit of gas from the shed and put it in the trunk, and Daryl closed the door for the last time. They got in the car, and Daryl drove back to where it had crashed. He and Ty looked for clues while Beth and Mika stayed close to Judith, who was sleeping in the car.

Daryl saw blood on the trunk of a tree, and he saw it on another and then another. He wondered if Carol was leading him to her. He looked for tracks, but there were so many, probably walkers. He could see Carol's boot impression, but only for a few feet. Her trail was stomped over, and he had nothing to go on. The blood stopped. Whatever happened to her, happened here.

"Do you think Carol's all right?" Mika spoke softly, not sure she wanted Beth to hear her.

"Carol's going to be just fine. She's strong and intelligent, and she's a survivor. She'll be just fine." Beth smiled warmly at her.

"We should be helping."

"We will. Daryl just needs to help us by finding the right path to follow." Beth glanced out the window at Ty and Daryl. "He doesn't want us getting lost or wasting time going in the wrong direction." Beth knew Daryl didn't want what happened to that little girl to happen to Carol. Only two people they lost came back, and they still lost them. None of them wanted that.

"Beth, Mika." Ty was by the window. "Come and help us."

"Stay close to the car," Beth instructed Mika. "Don't let Judy get out of your sight."

Mika nodded as she climbed out of the car and went to find Daryl. She found him crouched down and looking over leaves. She looked back and saw the car with Judy inside, the window down for fresh air to get in, and Beth was close by. She stopped beside him and looked at what he was staring at.

"Are you tracking her?" Mika spoke softly.

"Tryin' to. See the way these leaves are?" Daryl gestured to them, and Mika nodded. "That's Carol. You can tell by the shape and by how little her foot went into the ground. This is the last place Carol walked."

"So, what happened? Where did she go?"

He pointed to the other much deeper depression. "This is a man. He's much bigger than Carol and from the way they overlap, there was a struggle. I think he overpowered her and carried her off, but walkers been through here, and I can't be sure."

"Do you think she's okay?" Mika's eyes were glassy and wide.

"Don't worry 'bout her, Mika. She can take care of herself." He taught her well. After the farm fell and after the Governor's second to last assault, he spent a lot of time with Carol, and he taught her a few things. Basic survival and tracking and how to mark where've been without anyone noticing. He just had to notice. He just had to see what she left for him.

"What can I do?" Mika asked.

He stood up. "Look for any markings on the trees."

She nodded. "Anything else?"

"Just lemme know what you find."

Mika looked up at the trees, the lively green seemed to stretch on forever, and she looked for any markings. She knew what he was talking about because, her former biology teacher used to take them outside and show them different living environments of whatever animals were living in the trees by the school when she could, and she used to mark her place by leaving a small notch in a tree. Mika asked her about it one day before all of this happened, when she was just a little girl who loved to learn and who had a weird older sister.

Looking up at all of the green, Mika got lost. Her chest ached, every beat of her heart seemed so heavy and so painful. It was difficult to breathe in that moment, and it wasn't getting better. She felt so sick, so numb, and it just kept getting worse now that Carol was gone. They had no idea where she was or where to find her, and all Mika could do was think about the old days. How could she be strong when everyone she loved kept leaving her?

She didn't feel the tears as they poured down her chin until an icy tear slid down her collarbone. Her shoulders trembled as she cried by herself, hurt. She felt so numb to everything, but this inner self-loathing. She wasn't like her sister. She wasn't strong and could be calm when she needed to be. She was scared all the time, and she wanted to run away when walkers got too close. Only with Carol and Daryl and Beth and Ty could she find her strength. Without them, where would she be? How would she be? She'd lost more than she ever thought she would. How did she keep...herself? She didn't want to become messed up like Lizzie. She wanted to be herself.

_**Snap.**_

Mika tensed up, and she didn't move. She could feel someone behind her, but she didn't dare move. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she sniffled, trying to act like she didn't notice anything was off. She was so scare, because she knew Beth and Ty weren't close to Daryl and her.

––

Beth picked the berries from the bushes and placed them into the baggies she'd taken from the house. She was humming to herself, keeping an eye on Judith from where she was, and she felt Tyreese behind her. She wanted to talk to him, to see why he was so distant and so cold when it came to Carol. She couldn't keep it in any longer. She had to know.

"What did Carol do to you?" Beth asked, turning to look over her shoulder at him.

Ty met her eyes. "It doesn't concern you."

"It does when you're willin' to leave her out her all by herself. You know what kind of assholes there are in this world. Why would you ever intentionally leave someone you know out here alone?" She searched his eyes. "You'd have to be the coldest person."

"Carol killed Karen and David," he told her, and Beth gaped. "She killed them to stop the flu from spreading. She was showing them mercy." He scoffed over the word.

"Oh." Beth felt light-headed at that. She picked another berry and closed the bag, slipping it into the cross body bag she'd started carrying. Carol killed them for the group, Beth could see that. She felt stunned, but she accepted it. It was in the past, and it was Carol's mistake. Beth couldn't be angry or sad for Carol's poor choice. Karen and David were in a better place anyway, and they didn't have to die a slow death like the others. Beth was thankful for that. They were good people, and with Governor ruining their lives again, it was better they didn't see all that death. They were lucky in a different way. That's how Daddy would see it, and that's how she saw it. Carol was a good person, and she tainted herself by killing them, but Beth couldn't judge her. It wasn't her place, not in this world. God's judgment was the only one that mattered, and Beth could forgive her. Knowing her reasons, Beth could forgive her one day. Could Tyreese?

"So, you want her dead?"

"No. I want to tell her I forgive her."

She smiled. "You're a good man, Tyreese."

"No," he shook his head, "I try to be."

"Well, I see a good man," she told him. "I don't know if I could do that."

"You could. You're a good woman. Don't lose yourself."

She nodded.

"I'm gonna put these in the car." He took his berries and her bag to the car.

Beth picked one and ate it. There were good, really juicy and sweet. She stood up and reached into her pocket for another bag for herself and Judith, and someone grabbed her by shoulders and threw her against a tree. She didn't have time to scream or jump before he was on at her again. Her vision was blurry, but she knew it was a man. She could see his beard and hair, and he slammed her against another tree, and Beth groaned, trying to get her knife, but he'd knocked both her knife and gun off when he slammed her into the trees.

He kicked her hard in the stomach, and she fell to the ground, feeling blood on her brow and cheek, and her body ached. She felt like passing out, but she couldn't. She knew the sound of someone removing their belt, and adrenaline coursed through her veins as her heart pounded in her chest.

She kicked at the blurry figure and scrambled to her feet. "T—"

Someone punched her in the mouth before she could finish, and she fell to the ground from the force. There were two men, not one. She reacted and screamed loudly to warn the others, and she got to her feet, refusing to let her body shut down. She blinked heard to try and clear her vision, and she saw a little better. She backed up to look at both men and she saw her gun and knife in two different places, both out of her reach.

She looked between the two men and then took of running toward where she thought the others were. She heard the barreling after her, laughing like it was a game, and she felt panic rising up in her throat when guns sounded. She had to keep running. It was like escaping the prison. She had to keep moving.

She glanced back once and saw they were practically on top of her, and she pushed her legs to move faster. She felt as if she were running in slow motion, because no matter how fast she went, they were right there. She would run out of steam, and when that happened—

One of the men tackled her to the ground, she grunted and tried to get away, but he was strong. She saw his face, and he looked so smug. He had a crossbow on his back and wore an navy blue hoodie with muddy jeans and a muddy brown t-shirt, not to mention his nasty beard with hair about Daryl's length.

He looked over the young girl underneath him. She was about the right age, a little skinny but he didn't mind. She was probably still a virgin, but he would change. He could barely wait to feel her squirm underneath him, begging him for to stop. "Claimed," he told the other man as he stepped out of the woods.

"I saw her first," the other man spat.

"I didn't hear you call it."

"I know a way to settle this." The man jerked the guy off Beth and punched him. A fight broke out between them, Beth took that moment to run, but the sound of a body dropping came a moment later, and she was thrown back to the ground. She looked over and saw the hamburgered face of the man who argued with the survivor hovering over her. She let out a whimper and struggled against him.

"Feel free to scream." He began to unbuckle her belt.

Beth struggled to get away, looking for a rock or a stick, and she saw something in the corner of her eye. It was almost out of her reach, but in the grass was a bloody machete, probably the same one he used to kill the man beside her. She reached her hand up to grasp it, but her fingertips only brushed the hilt.

She stopped reaching when she felt the man's hand underneath her shirt, her skin began to crawl and she let out a sound that he didn't like, because he slapped his elbow into her throw. She gasped in air and thrashed underneath him, wiggling closer and closer to the machete. It was getting harder and harder to breathe as she wriggled, and she felt sick to her stomach, dizzy.

His hand slid down the waistband of her jeans, Beth gave up on trying to wriggle and just reached for the machete, and when her fingers wrapped around the wet hilt, she firmly grasped it and sliced at the man's forearm. He cried out and rolled off of her.

She straddled his lap and began to repeatedly and violently hack at his head. She didn't care that he was beyond dead and wasn't going to reanimate. She just kept bringing the machete down again and again with more anger and hate that she had ever felt in her entire life. She just saw red and lost control of her body as warm blood landed on her shirt and on her face, and just kept attacking his face.

"Beth!" Tyreese called to her. "Stop. Stop!" He grabbed by her armpits and hauled her back.

"No!" she screamed. "Don't touch me!"

"Shh, shh. It's me."

"No!" She struggled

"Beth, it's me!" He grasped her face. "Look. Look. It's okay. It's me."

She stopped and saw his big brown eyes filled with concern and compassion. She began to sob. "He tried to—"

"Sshhh." He pulled her into a gentle hug. "It's okay now. It's okay."

She sobbed against his chest. **_It _**wasn't okay. **_She_** wasn't okay. She knew the world had men like this in it, and they were still around, but never did she think... Everything was so different now. She always had a place, had her sister, but now they were all scattered, and the people she trusted most were changing. She was left behind during those changes, but now... God.

––

Mika heard another twig snap and spun around to see if it was walker or a living person, and two men came at her, one with a crossbow and one with a rifle. Mika gasped, and she was jerked back by Daryl, who stood in front of her, holding them at crossbow-point.

"Back off," Daryl demanded.

They simply chuckled and drew their weapons, Daryl told Mika to run when he shot an arrow at the first man. Mika bolted, not looking back, and Daryl followed her. They ran quickly to draw them men away from Ass Kicker, and Daryl thought of a plan as they pushed through bushes of berries and through low hanging branches.

Daryl stopped when the men shot at them. "Mika." He bent down. "Go!" he said softly. "Go!"

She looked at him with massive, fearful blue eyes. "No, don't leave me."

"Run and hide then don't come out unless I call you. I'll whistle."

"Daryl, pleas—"

A bullet whipped by Daryl's hair, and Mika yelped, dropping to the ground and covering her head. Daryl picked her up and put some distance between them, he set her down by thick bushes, and he told her to hide. He ran in a different direction and was caught by another guy. That would've have been so bad if the other two assholes hadn't caught up to him. He cursed and tackled the one guy and the other two joined.

Mika climbed out of the bush and saw the men ganging up on Daryl. She moved around the bush where she would be hidden, and she looked around. No one was around—not strangers, not Beth or Tyreese. No one was coming to help Daryl or her.

Every instinct in her body was telling her to run and hide and wait for it all to be over, but as the grunts and groans of both Daryl and the men beating the crap out of him grew louder, she couldn't. She couldn't run and leave Daryl to die, but she could kill those men. She didn't want to hurt anybody. She just wanted to find Carol and go someplace safe with Daryl and Beth and the others. She didn't have the strength to hurt them, but she wasn't cold enough to let Daryl die. She could never be.

_You need to be strong_, Mika could hear Carol's voice._ You **have** to be strong. Protect your family and yourself._

Mika stepped out from behind the bushes and saw the men had really hurt Daryl. He had a busted lip, a cut on his brow and cheek, and he was getting a black eye. She drew her gun and shot at them, aiming at their legs. She ended up shooting one right in the head, and she flinched, but one of them was coming at her now. She shot, but missed. She shot again and got one in the leg, and an arrow shot through the head of the other one.

Daryl came up and shot the other one as he squirmed on the ground, cursing. "Mika." He didn't know if he was angry or proud, but he felt horrible when she began to cry.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You—you're hurt, because of—of me."

"It wasn't your fault. I told you to stay hid." He removed the bolts and took their crossbows. "Got more weapons now."

She snuffled. "I killed them."

He shouldered the crossbows and shook his head. "They were already dead."

"How?"

"'Cause they would rather hurt people than help 'em." He searched her eyes and bent down. "You did what you hada do. I'm proud of you, and Carol will be too."

"Will she?"

"'Course. Might have to start callin' you Ass Kicker," he mused.

She smiled a little and hugged him. "I'm glad you're okay."

He was tense for only a moment then put an arm around her and hugged her back. "Thanks to you." He released her. "Let's go check on Beth and Ty."


	9. Things We Lost In The Fire

"Beth!" Mika ran over to her. "Oh, my God."

"Mika!" Beth grabbed her and hugged her. "You're okay?"

She nodded.

"Thank God." Beth began to cry. "I'm so glad they didn't get you."

Daryl ground his teeth. "Did they?"

"No," Ty replied. "I got one of the assholes, and Beth got the other. He got close, but she got away."

"How?"

"I bashed his face in with a machete," Beth told him. "You were beaten too? Are you okay?"

Daryl blinked. Beth sounded so cold. She wasn't the type to brush over something like that. Beth has never killed another living being before. What happened? Did he do more than Ty or Daryl knew? Or was Beth coping this way? She wasn't fragile, but being forced into this world in the way that they were... She wasn't strong. She wasn't Maggie or Michonne or Sasha. She was just a girl forced grow too fast and have no choice but to be strong. She wasn't there yet. Daryl and Ty would have to guide her. Otherwise she'll become twisted, like Carl used to be.

"Daryl?" Beth looked his face over with her big blue eyes.

"Fine," he muttered, "I'm fine. Are you able to walk?"

"Not good," she admitted. "My ankle hurts like hell. Walkin' ain't gonna be easy or fast."

"I'll stay with her," Mika offered.

"That's sweet, but if y'all get into trouble, there's not much you can go." Daryl leaned against the car. "I'm gonna get some water and we're gonna get cleaned up before any of us go wanderin' off."

"I'll go," Ty corrected. "Mika?"

She nodded and followed him, taking his hand with hers comfortingly.

Daryl plopped down on the ground and groaned softly, Beth looked over at him then brought her legs in and rested her arms on her legs, holding herself close. They didn't say anything, Daryl wasn't sure what to say, and Beth didn't want to talk about it, not with Daryl. She wanted Maggie, but she doubted she would ever see Maggie again. She wondered now how Daryl could be so confident that he would find Carol alive and in one piece. She didn't have it in her, and Daryl's life seemed far worse than hers. She just got the feeling the bottom feel out a lot for him, so how was he so sure? He wasn't a hopeful man just a while ago? Did something happen? Pff, he probably wouldn't tell her if anything did.

"Do you think we're gonna find her?" Beth asked him.

He was silent for a long time. The last time he swore up and down he would find someone, they turned up dead and reanimated. He didn't even want to picture Carol that way. It made him ache to even think about her like that. "I do."

"Why?"

"Why?" He looked at her, frowning. "You're askin' why?"

"Yeah, I am." She met his eyes. "How are you gonna find her? We don't even have any tracks. How the hell are we gonna find her?"

"We found Ty and the girls without followin' their tracks."

"Tsk, by pure freaking chance." She pulled her legs closer. "We'll probably find her walkin' around, bit."

Daryl didn't say anything.

"If she wasn't torn apart by a pack of walkers, if she hasn't been raped and murdered first." She didn't let him talk. "Don't tell me it ain't possible. It almost happened. Right here with me and Mika. If you hadn't been there, Mika woulda been—"

"She wasn't," Daryl cut her off. "You wasn't neither."

"'Cause of what? Luck? Droppin' a machete in the wrong place?" Beth scoffed. "I just barely got away, and when I did..." Her eyes filled with tears. "I butchered him, Daryl. I didn't stop."

"Beth—"

"I **couldn't** stop."

He reached over and set a hand on her knee, she flinched, and he moved his hand. "I'm sure he deserved it."

"How do you do this?" She looked at him, holding herself with her arms. She didn't know how he could kill people, even if they deserved it. She wasn't this person. She didn't relentlessly attack someone, not even walkers. She felt disturbed by what'd she done, but the most horrifying part was... She didn't know if she felt horrible about killing a man or if she felt—

Beth jumped out of her seat and ran over to a tree, where she threw up until her stomach was raw. She started crying again, and she felt absolutely sick.

"Beth."

"Leave me alone."

Mika and Tyreese returned as Beth walked away from Daryl, Mika set the water she was holding down then ran after Beth. Tyreese and Daryl prepared a fire to boil the water for cleaning their injuries, checking in on Judy was woke up, and Mika found Beth curled up against a tree. She caught her breath and walked over to her.

"Mika, go back to Daryl and Ty." She didn't have to look up to know it was Mika. She just knew.

"No." Mika was more than worried about Beth. She knew that whatever happened to Beth was horrible, and she knew Beth wouldn't recover alone. Beth had killed someone, not a walker, but a living, breathing person. Mika could never imagine what that would do to someone. She wanted to help Beth. She couldn't be there for Lizzie, but she was going to be here for Beth.

Mika sat beside Beth. "How'd you lose your mom?"

"She got bit." Beth drew her legs in.

"Mine too. It was my fault."

Beth lifted her head to look at Mika. "I doubt that."

"No, it was." Mika met Beth's eyes. "Me and Lizzie were supposed to stay behind. I was six, and we were trying to get to the quarantine zone, but we needed supplies—that's why my parents were out." Mika sighed and crossed her arm. "Lizzie thought I was asleep, but I was waiting up for Mom to read me a bedtime story."

Beth turned toward her. "How does that make your mom's death your fault?"

"Because I wasn't waiting in the house. I was outside, and when I saw my parents coming back to the house, I ran to them. I was yelling, and I didn't know there were walkers nearby. Mom saw them coming at me, so she grabbed me and held me so close that I couldn't breath. She got bitten everywhere, protecting me."

"Mika—"

"I should've been in the house, but I wasn't, and she suffered for it." Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she tried not to cry. She had to be strong. She had to be.

"That wasn't your fault. Your mom died to protect you. She made that choice, because she loved you very much."

"Did your mom died for you?"

"No. She just died."

Mika ran her hand under her nose, Beth lowered her legs and grabbed Mika, pulling her into her lap and holding her like she would Judith, her arms around Mika's stomach. Beth rested her forehead on the back of Mika's head and thought of what Maggie would do. She stopped herself then. She wasn't Maggie. She wasn't Carol or Sasha or Michonne. She was Beth Greene, an eighteen-year-old girl who's lost her mother and father and possibly her older sister. She had to find strength in that. If she let herself drown in sorrow and anger and hate, she was a dead girl. She had to fine strength in the fact that she was alive right now and never lose sight of that girl who lived before this world, because she was important to Beth. She was everything Beth had to keep to truly survive this world.

Her surviving up to this point was only because she was sheltered, and she only had one job to do: take care of Judith. She now had to take care of all of them in ways that Daryl and Tyreese couldn't. She wasn't Carol, and she didn't want to be Carol. She had to find a way to be herself, but better. Stronger. She had to be a survivor, and Mika had to be one too.

Beth smoothed Mika's short hair down. "Do you understand that we will never be the same again?" Mika nodded. "But the future is in our hands. The future and the present are our hands, and we can't let the past take that away from us."

"How?" Mika whispered. The road in her mind was clogged with doubt and pain from the losses they'd suffered. Mika knew she felt for more than just herself, she always had. She was too different from Lizzie from the start, and Lizzie was always the strong one, even if she was messed up. Lizzie took the easy way out, but Mika was still here, her heart was still beating in her chest, powerful and loud. It was telling her every single day she woke up to be strong like Lizzie, kind like her dad and sweet like her mommy, but even that didn't clear the fog in her mind. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be. It was like their current state, and they were okay. They were alive and together and okay.

––

Daryl wet a rag with the still-warm water as Tyreese changed Judith and made sure she had something to eat as Mika and Beth joined them, both smiling and they were holding hands. To anyone else—hell, and to Daryl and Tyreese—they looked like sister. Daryl hoped Mika had helped Beth, and Beth helped Mika.

"Here, let me." Beth took the rag from Daryl's hands and lowered herself down onto her knees as she wiped the blood from his face. He would have a black eye and a couple large cuts. She cleaned off his cheek then wet the rag again and wiped at the cut above his brow. "I'm sorry about what I said."

"Could be true."

"But I didn't need to remind you of it." She squeezed out the water. "I know we'll find her."

He grasped her hand as she reached up to wipe the last of the blood off his face, and he squeezed her hand comfortingly. "Yeah, we will."

She smiled. "You will. Otherwise you'll have me doubting your tracking skills."

"Tsk, no way in hell that's gonna happen."

"Good, 'cause I'm starvin', and some meat wouldn't kill us."

He smirked. "Damn slaver driver."

"'Course." She sat beside him. "Hey, Mika, could you get me a rag, please?"

"Sure." Mika hopped out of the car and dug through the bag Ty had gotten out of the trunk. She wet it in the pot of water and held it out to Beth. "Do you want me to do it?"

"Thank you, but I got it."

Daryl climbed to his feet and picked up his crossbow. "Hey, Mika, c'mere."

"Why?" She walked over to him.

"I wanna show you something." He guided her through the woods to look for something to eat, and as proud of her as he was that she came and helped him when those men were about to kill him, she needed to know how to protect _**herself**_. "You don't like guns much, do you?"

"No, but I understand we have to use them." She laced her fingers together. She felt nervous about being out in the woods alone with Daryl. She was scared more men would come or walkers. She didn't have a lot of ammo left, and she didn't want Daryl to pay for that. Thankfully, he had gotten a lot of arrows from the men that attacked them, and they had a few more crossbows, though Daryl would never give his crossbow up. It was as attached to him as his winged leather vest. They were like his trademark. It's how Mika knew him for the longest time at the prison, but now she knew him as Daryl, and she was starting to love him as Daryl.

"I hear you like to learn," Daryl told Mika as they trudged through the woods.

"I love to learn!" Mika beamed. "Learning is one of my most favorite things!"

"Good, 'cause I'm gonna show you some things." Daryl pointed to a spot in the ground and they crouched down beside it. "Tell me what you see."

She looked at the trench. "It looks like a ditch. Why does that matter?"

"'Cause it ain't just a ditch. See how the ground kinda has a tunnel shape?" She nodded. "That's where you wanna set the noose."

"Noose?" Mika asked.

"I'll teach you how to make a simple slip knot when we get back," he assured her. "See, you're gonna tie one on both ends, and you tighten one end to a branch. You can hide it with leaves and put sticks all around it, so any animal that goin' by have to run this way. Right into the trap."

"Won't they suffer?"

"That don't matter." She frowned. "When you're out here, Mika, you gotta think about who you're with and what you gotta do to keep 'em safe and alive. If me and Ty and Beth was to die or get separated from you and Judith, you would have to keep her safe. You would have to find food for her and yourself."

"Don't say that."

"Fine, use it as a last resort. I'll show you what's edible and what ain't."

They headed deeper into the woods, Daryl showed her the difference between poisonous mushrooms and edible mushrooms. Mika seemed to enjoy what he was showing her, and he was actually enjoying himself too. He hadn't felt a sliver of joy since Carol went missing, but Mika brought out a small smile in him. She reminded him of Sophia—so sweet and so small. He wouldn't let her share Sophia's fate, and he wouldn't let her share Carl's either. He would make her strong, but never take away her innocence. Ass Kicker needed someone in her life with such light.

"Hey, Daryl, look!" Mika took of running.

"Mika!" He ran after her.

She saw tracks that looked like the ones she'd showed her before, and she hoped with all of her heart that they were Carol's. She needed them to be. She wanted to wrap her arms around Carol and hug her tightly. The tracks looked relatively fresh, so maybe she was right around the corner.

Mika's heart was beating faster and faster as her shoes hit the ground over and over. She was breathless, but she could see a vine-covered fence just ahead, and she smiled. If that fence wasn't broken then maybe that's there Carol was. Maybe she was safe and recovering from the damage the men had done. Mika just knew that was it. Carol was resting before she came and found them and brought them here.

Daryl saw the fence and he had a bad feeling about it. He didn't want to know what was beyond this gate, but if Carol was there, dead or alive, he had to know. These tracks were indeed Carol's, and they were fresh. They weren't the only ones there, however. There was another set of smaller prints, and Daryl knew they weren't a man's because they were small and light, like Mika's. Carol came here with or after a child. Why? Who?

Perhaps he had it wrong. Perhaps Carol wasn't injured, just lured. This was like Hansel and Gretel and the candy house. He didn't like this. Carol wouldn't be led by a child, not with Beth and Ass Kicker and Mika and him waiting for her. Would she?

As they neared the vine-covered fence, they saw and smelled fruit and cooking meat. It made their mouth water, but they had to focus on Carol. Daryl kept low, thankfully Mika wasn't very tall yet, and they crept along the fence. They saw an opening in the vines and peered through.

It was beautiful and untouched by walkers inside. There were flowerbeds and gardens covered with lush vegetables and fruits and there were chickens scampering around with their chicks, and there were goats and even sheep wandering around, though they were in a pin. They had babies and were so adorable to Mika. Daryl was shocked by all of it.

There were rows of small cottage-looking houses, and there was smoke coming out of only one of them. That was the probably the only one in use, since the others looked empty. They all looked well taken care of nonetheless, and Daryl could see at the bottom of the fence there were reinforcements that would last quite some time. It was the perfect place to start over, and they felt it could be a good place.

A small child walked out of the cabin with a basket in her arms. She began to fill it with vegetables and fruit and even some flowers. She was well-fed, though young, and her soft ginger hair was braided over her shoulder. She wore worn shorts and with a blue graphic tee. She looked so familiar to Daryl, and he narrowed his eyes as she faced them to unearth some potatoes.

She had the same big brown eyes, splatter of freckles, nose and smile as Sophia Peletier. She was humming softly, and she seemed so happy. And just when Daryl thought this couldn't get **_any_** more insane, Carol walked over to her and began to help unearth the vegetables. They were smiling and made quick work of it.

Daryl heard Mika gasp at the sight of Carol, and Daryl stared. She wore a blue dress with her hair brushed and a pendant dangling from her neck. She wasn't the same Carol Daryl had lost on the road. **_What the hell was going?!_**


	10. Losing Your Memory

Carol and Bailey went into the biggest cabin there, eating apples. Carol set the basket on the table then set the vegetables on the table, handing a knife to the young girl and letting her cut them and add them to the soup. Carol heard Charlie rousing from his room, and she tended to the soup. She was was about to her plan to escape into action. She had to get her, Remy and Bailey out of this place. Charlie had taken her gun and knife when he found her bleeding against the trees just by the crash site. She'd been crafting a knife out of wood whenever he slept and hid it in the garden.

She'd only been here for about two days, and he'd given her a life that made no sense. The woman he wanted her to be was either insane or very, very open to change. This man had no idea what happened to the world—not technology or the dead rising. He'd been living here like this for years, kidnapping women who fit the profile of the woman he'd lost. Carol'd only survived the crash because Bailey found her and brought Charlie to get her. She wasn't going to let this man keep her here, chained and starved. She wasn't reliving her marriage to Ed.

"Carol." Bailey slid a knife over to her slowly and grabbed the one that was tucked into her shirt before Charlie came out of the bedroom.

He wasn't a large man, only a little bigger than Ed, with a shaggy hair and a lot of issues with a lot of things. He was almost a decent person, if it wasn't for the kidnapping or the chains or the way he watches her. It made her skin crawl. She had to get out of there. She had someone very important to get back to.

Carol prepared the rest of dinner then left the moment he sat down to tend to "other chores". She waited until nightfall before removing the hideous dress she was forced into and using the makeshift key to remove the shackles on her ankles. She had to get back to the road and see if that car was still there. If it was, she would come back and get Bailey and Remy. They would all leave this place together, even if the car wasn't there. Carol left Bailey in charge of getting the supplies ready, and Remy was to make sure Charlie was too drunk to move. Charlie didn't even know about walkers, and Carol was confident that he wouldn't come after them. He loved to be stuck in that camp.

Carol slipped out of the gate, listening for any movement, and she slipped off the rock. She headed for the road, keeping the real knife tight in her hand. Her heart was pounding in her chest from fear of being caught by walkers. She couldn't see very well, even though her eyes had adjusted, and her knife wasn't made for this. It wasn't all that sharp anymore. She didn't hear walkers, so she wasn't as worried. She would hear them before she saw them. She knew that. Someone had told her that, but she didn't know how.

She noticed smoke and crouched down by a tree, silently moving toward it. If there was a group out here, they might be able to help. And if they weren't the helping type, Carol needed to know. She wouldn't kill them unless it was absolutely necessary.

As she got close to the camp, she saw a black man tending to the fire while a teenage girl rocked a baby. She looked closer and saw that girl was Beth Greene and that baby was Judith Grimes. She smiled and ran out.

Beth grabbed her gun at the movement in the darkness, holding Judy close, but she saw Carol and nearly dropped the gun. Beth felt weak at the sight of her. She was skinner, paler, and she was alive. "Carol?" Beth's voice broke. "Carol." She walked over to her and hugged her tightly, heeding Judith in her arms. "You're okay."

"You're okay." Carol smoothed her hair down. "How did you find me?" Carol pulled back after several minutes. "Your face. What happened?"

"I'm fine, just a little bruised." Beth sniffed and smiled. "We just followed the blood."

"We?"

"Yeah, me, Mika, Ty and Daryl."

"Mika? Is she okay? Where is she?" Carol was concerned. She wouldn't lose Mika.

"She's fine. Mika's with Daryl."

"And they are where?"

"They've been gone for a while now," Ty answered. "Probably found something."

Carol walked over to him. "Tyreese." She smiled. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Carol."

Beth stared and Ty blinked, both of them confused, but the scary part was...Carol was genuine in her greeting. She had never met this man before in her life. She had honestly never seen Tyreese before today. And if Carol didn't remember Tyreese, did she not remember killing Karen and David? Who else, what else had she forgotten? Beth felt sick. If she didn't remember Daryl, that would destroy him.

"Thank you for taking care of Beth and Judith."

He gave a slight nod then returned to the fire before him.

"The car." Carol saw it in the dim light. "Does it work?"

"Yeah, it works." Beth set Judith down in the car seat and strapped her in gently as she slept. "Why?"

"Because I need to get out of here. There's a man back there who has kidnapped two kids and myself. I need to get them out of there." Carol noticed a weapons bag. "Could I borrow a knife? He took mine and my gun. I have to help them. He doesn't know about the walkers, and they don't either. Please."

"I'll do more than give you a knife," Beth replied, taking a knife from the bag and holding it out to her. "I'll go with you and help."

Carol took the knife. "Thank you. They ought to be ready now."

"I'll take care of Judith," Ty assured Beth.

"Good." Beth followed Carol back to her kidnapper's place. They moved swiftly and silently, Beth wanted to ask Carol who and what she remembered, but this wasn't the time or place. They had to help those kids. Beth wouldn't let anything happen to them. They didn't deserve to die, just because some creep wanted to play house.

As they neared the camp, Carol felt someone following them. She stopped at the gate and turned, searching the darkness, and she told Beth to wait. She gripped the knife Beth had gotten for her and approached the one moving thing in the darkness and tackled it.

Daryl let out a groan and Mika ran over to help, but once she saw it was Carol, she stopped and put her gun away. Carol held the knife to the man's throat, but it wasn't biting into his skin or anything. She couldn't see his face very well, just hard muscle underneath her and the scent of leather. She moved her knife and slipped it into her boot and stood up, not sensing a threat from this man.

"Carol!" Mika threw her arms around Carol, glad Daryl had given up on stalking her and just let her see them.

"Mika." Carol stopped her. "We can celebrate later. Right now, there's something very important I—we need to do."

"And that is?" Daryl asked.

"Save Bailey and Remy." Carol turned back to the gate and saw Bailey hiding where Carol had told her to, and Carol slipped through. "Bailey?"

The girl stood up and ran over to Carol. "Remy's late. I don't know where he is."

"I'm here." He rushed over to them. "Let's go. He's out cold."

They left the camp quickly and returned to Ty. They would move at daybreak. Bailey and Remy needed to rest from all the chores they'd done, Beth was limping on the way back, and Carol didn't want to push any of them. She made sure they all had food before she ate her own dinner. Charlie only gave them enough to live, and that was a very small amount of food. Carol wasn't sure if she could finish her bowl. She was able to, and she felt so full for the first time in days.

"Carol." Remy held out a holster with a gun in it. "I got this from him."

It was _her_ gun. "Thanks." Carol set her empty bowl down beside and took the holster. She sat with Bailey and Remy to eat and to observe the group. Daryl and Tyreese were looking over the weapons, Beth and Mika were eating across the fire, and Carol knew Mika wanted to talk to her. Carol wanted to talk to her too, but she needed to eat first. Carol was slightly unsettled by the looks Daryl and Beth shared.

Daryl sat down by a tree away from everyone, watching Carol and Mika and Bailey talk. Ty had told him how Carol didn't know who he was, and she was serious. Daryl wasn't surprised that Carol had forgotten them. That blood was probably from a head wound. That question was: how much did Carol remember? Who did she forget? Daryl knew Carol remembered him. She had a look in her eye that told him she remembered him. She knew Mika and Beth and Judith, so maybe she only forgot Ty.

Daryl looked up when Carol sat beside him. It was getting late. He could tell by now that the sun would be rise soon. They would leave then, and they would head for Terminus. They didn't need to go back to the pecan groove. They didn't have enough room to go back to the pecan groove or the gas. Daryl wasn't sure how they were all going to fit into the car. They would find a way. Bailey was about the same size as Sophia, and if Remy got any smaller, he would fit in a suitcase.

"I thought you were over being distant." Carol drew her legs in and rested her elbows on her knees.

"I am," he mumbled, "just wanted to be alone."

"I see." She looked over at the kids that were sleeping. "Where is everyone else?"

"What do you remember?" His heart slowed down. It felt like his heart was in this throat, and swallowing was impossible.

"The prison's gone." She crossed her arms. "Beth twisted her ankle. Lizzie...died."

"Anything else? How 'bout Ty?"

"Why would I remember a stranger?" Carol looked at him. "Where did we find him?"

"Found us. Him and Sasha."

"Who?"

Daryl looked at her now. "Who do you remember?"

"Beth. Mika. Lizzie. Lori. Shane. Andrea. Carl. Hershel. Patrick..." She trailed off, her eyes going blank, and he frowned. "...walkers. Walker!" Carol shouted, standing up as they came out of the darkness.

Daryl shot up, grabbing his crossbow, and everyone woke up. Beth pushed Bailey and Mika into the car and she grabbed her knife and killed the ones that were coming at her. Remy grabbed a log from the fire and swung it like a baseball bat, Daryl kept Carol safe since he wasn't sure she knew how to aim her gun, and Tyreese bashed their skulls in with his hammer.

Carol heard a twig snap behind her. She saw the knife in Daryl's belt and grabbed it, spinning around and plunging the knife deep into the frontal lobe of the walker that crept up on her. She ripped the knife out as another one came at her, and she repeated the action. Her body seemed to remember what her mind didn't. She knew she had killed walkers before, but usually behind the gates of the prison. This was so different, but she didn't feel afraid. She was consumed by it, to be more accurate. She knew how to do this. Rather, her body did. How?

Beth was being overwhelmed by the walkers coming at her, Mika wanted to help her, Bailey was staring in horror on the floor of the car, and the baby was sleeping like a rock. Beth felt a pinch in her ankle after she lunged at a walker. She winced and stumbled back. She needed to rest her ankle more. It was really hurting. She plunged her knife into the nearest walker, and she fell to her knees when her ankle burned. It felt like the first time she twisted it. Her knees were shaking.

Remy saw the girl named Beth on her knees and grabbed another log and bashed in the head of the walker that came at them. He didn't tell Carol he knew about walkers. He'd sneak out all the time, and he would see them. He knew they weren't human anymore. He saw a pack of the attack a man in the woods with glasses, and he knew then it was kill or be killed. He wouldn't let them be killed. If Carol knew them, he would protect them. He owed her that.

He tossed the log down and picked Beth off. "Move back," he told the little girl in the car. Mika move to the other side of the car, he opened the door and set Beth inside, and he closed the door. He picked up the knife she dropped and Ty helped him as killed off the mass of walkers Beth had faced alone.

"Daryl!" Ty grunted. "Get over here!"

"We gotta go." Daryl grabbed the bolt from the walker he just killed. He'd gotten all of the bolts back just barely. There were too many walkers here. They had to leave. "Carol, get in the car."

"Not without you." Her back came right up against his. She was panting.

"Carol, go. I ain't kiddin'."

"Neither am I." She kicked a walker back.

Daryl stabbed the bolt through the walker nearest to him. "Ty, get the car started!"

"Okay!" he called back, running around to grab the bag off the truck. He climbed into the car and started it.

"Daryl, Carol, c'mon!" Ty shouted as Remy got into the passenger seat.

Carol and Daryl kicked away the walkers closet to them and ran for the car, Beth had moved the car seat into the truck through the seat that lowered, Bailey was still on the floor, and Mika moved onto Carol's lap when she climbed into the car, and Daryl squeezed in and slammed the door. Tyreese mashed the gas, and they sped off.

"Oh, my God," Bailey kept muttering, eyes wide and full of tears.

"Mika, are you okay?" Carol looked her over.

"I'm fine."

"Beth?" Carol saw the pain in her face. "Let me see your ankle." Beth turned so that her back was against the door, Judith was staring to cry at being woken up, and Beth tried to sooth her. "Daryl, take Judy."

Daryl took Ass Kicker, Mika sat half on Carol's lap, half on Daryl's lap, and Carol removed Beth's boot. Beth winced, sucking in air through her clenched teeth, and Carol gently touched her ankle. Beth bit her lip to keep from crying out.

"You need to keep off your feet," Carol told her. "It's swollen and bruised. I'm surprised your boot still fits."

"It hurts real bad," Beth breathed.

"We have medicine, but it's in the truck." Carol felt horrible. "We'll get it when we stop."

Beth nodded. She hoped they stopped soon.

– – –

Rick and Michonne patrolled the yard that night, it was pretty boring, but it was better safe than sorry. Carl was probably snoozing in his bed right now. They'd cleaned out the warehouses, but Michonne didn't want to be put in with a group of strangers. She didn't take to strangers well. She had a bad feeling about some of the people in this place. She didn't want to listen to it, but she was starting to feel like she had at Woodbury. She hadn't told anyone yet. Carl was happy here, with or without kids, and Rick had relaxed a bit. Michonne wanted to know why he was so tense to begin with.

"Another uneventful night." Rick rubbed his eyes.

"Would you rather someone tear down these gates?" Michonne crossed her arms.

"No." He met her eyes. "I just wish there was some noise. It's so quiet here, puts me to sleep."

"You'll adjust."

"I might."

"Might?" Michonne repeated.

He stood up and walked over to her. "I just...got this feelin'. I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid."

"Feeling?"

"Somethin's off here."

She nodded. "Me too."

"They got no kids, no elderly. The Governor had kids and elderly," Rick whispered. "How does that happen?"

Michonne moved closer. "I've noticed they have an area that's blocked off. Only Gareth and Mary go in there. Usually before dinner."

"I don't think sneakin' around's a good idea, but somethin' ain't right here. I wanna know what."

"Am I interrupting?" Mary asked as she entered the yard.

Michonne and Rick both stepped away from each other, and Michonne let Rick deal with her. "No, ma'am." He smiled a little. "Just talkin'. Not much goes on around here."

"We consider ourselves lucky that way." She wrapped her shawl tighter around herself. "I came to see if you two needed anything."

Rick glanced at Michonne, but she shook her head. "No, we're good, but thank you."

She nodded and smiled. "Well, if you do need anything, let me know. All you have to do is ask." She turned around and left, returning to her room.

"We'll talk more later," Michonne said, walking to the other side of the yard to keep watch.

Rick set his hand over his gun and tapped his ring finger against it, his wedding band clang with each hit. He didn't want this place to be bad, but after a few days, things—little things—were staring to eat at him. It wasn't possible to have no elderly, to have no children. It made no sense to him. Why have so many empty warehouses if there haven't been more new people? There hadn't been any new arrivals since Rick came, and the people who were here now weren't moving into those new rooms. So, what were they using them for? Why were they so open yet so secretive. It didn't sit well with him. He had to know what they were hiding.

At breakfast, Rick and Michonne didn't eat. They headed back to their room—or so it seemed. They went to check out the building no one ever went into. Everyone was at breakfast right now, and they would see if there was anything suspicious. They would only go inside if there was something off with the building. Rick and Michonne both felt in their guts that something was not right there.

Rick saw flickering lights inside, and Michonne noticed writing on the  
wall through the window. The only way inside was through that window or the front door, but that seemed to easy. They would try the window tonight when Gareth and Andy were on watch.

They turned to leave and found Gareth behind them, arms crossed over his chest, looking at them with confusion, and they both prepared for the worst.

"What are you doing?" He divided a look between them.

"What's in this building?" Michonne demanded.

"This building?" Gareth pointed to it. "You could've just asked."

"Quit stallin'." Rick narrowed his eyes.

Gareth reached into his pocket and dug out a set of keys. He unlocked the door and opened it, Rick and Michonne stepped inside, and he waved his arms around, showing them the room with names on the floor and candles lit everywhere. "We call it the Church." He lowered his arms. "We put the names of those we've lost on the floor in white paint and light a candle for them. This is how we mourn."

Rick looked at the floor, all the names, all the candles, and he felt bad. He was going to break into someone's mourning place.

"Why's it locked?" Michonne didn't move from the doorway.

"We only come in here once a month or so. Me and Mary keep it from burning down." He shrugged. "Shoulda told y'all. I didn't mean to make you suspicious of us."

Rick nodded. "We're real sorry."

"It's okay. I get it. There are a lot of sickos out there. You have to keep your boy safe." He looked around the room. "This is all it is."

"We'll just go then." Michonne stepped out. "Carl's waiting."

Rick gave an apologetic nod to Gareth, Gareth gave him a reassuring smile, and they left. Gareth's smile fell instantly, and he went over to the clipboard that listed names of who was next in line. He wrote down names then set it down and walked over to the door. He gave the room one last look, slowly smirking then exited, closing and locking the door.

The names he'd written down here_ Rick (Grimes)_ and _Michonne (Samurai)._ He'd made a small note: _Convert the boy._

––

Carl saw his dad and Michonne, and they looked like something had happened. Carl noticed they were acting differently, but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to ruin what they had. They were finally getting back to normal, and they were doing well here. He didn't want them to get all suspicious and get them kicked out. They needed to relax.

"Hey, Dad." Carl set his cup down. "Where were you?"

"Just talkin' to Gareth." He sat down. "Did you sleep good?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Rick saw Maggie and Sasha going to the yard with baskets. They were still picking vegetables and planting them. Maggie did it, because she grew up on a farm and worked on it too. They let her keep watch, but mostly her job was to tend to the gardens. Sasha only went to help Maggie. They'd gotten really close on the way here. Rick wasn't surprised. He and Michonne had gotten closer as well. Carl and she were always close.

"Are you keeping watch again tonight?" Carl ate his breakfast.

"No, tonight's Glenn and Abraham." Rick felt tired all of a sudden.

"You okay?" Glenn asked, seeing exhaustion cross Rick's face.

"Tired." He rubbed his eyes.

"Go to bed," Glenn suggested. "You've been for nearly two days. Get some sleep."

He nodded. "If you need anything, Carl—"

"I'll ask you or Michonne." Carl nodded. "Night, Dad."

Rick rose and headed back to the room, he heard someone behind him, but he knew it was Michonne. She had the key, after all. They entered the room and didn't even remove their shoes or weapons, just fell asleep on the beds the minute they sat down. They were both so tired. They had let their gut-feeling control them, but Michonne knew she was right about this place. She just knew it, and she knew that Rick knew it too. They would get to the bottom of it.

– – –

They found a resting spot, Daryl let Mika have Judith as he climbed out of the car and went to help Beth out of the backseat. Carol and Bailey got out of the car and stretched, Remy pulled Carol and Bailey aside as Ty and Daryl saw to Beth's ankle.

"Where are we going?" Remy asked her.

"With them," Carol replied, "to Terminus. We don't have any other choice."

"Can we trust them?" Bailey was still shaking.

"Yes, of course." Carol set her hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "Those things aren't people anymore, Bailey. They're dead—walkers."

"How are they moving?" Bailey whispered. "I—I don't understand."

"Bay." Remy pulled her into a hug as she sobbed. "Let me."

Carol nodded and checked on Beth. Daryl was wrapping her ankle, Carol offered her a smile and sat down beside her. "How are you?"

"Better." She winced when Daryl tightened. "I'll get used to it."

"You'll have to keep it elevated," Carol told her.

"I know."

Carol watched Daryl wrap her ankle, and she wondered when he became this way. From what she remembered, he was distant all the time. She tried to get him to join the group, but he never did. She felt like he did something really amazing for her, but she couldn't remember. All she knew was he yelled at her to get out of his camp and he almost hit her and he slammed a door in her face. Beth must have brought him out. She was glad. She was starting to like this new Daryl. He was really great.

Daryl picked Beth up and set her down in the shade then left with Ty to get some water. Carol stayed by the car and Mika joined her with baby Judith, and Carol took the baby from her. Carol always loved children. She just never had any of her own. If she had, she would've done anything to protect them from this world.

"Hey, there." Carol smiled at Judith then Mika. "How are you holding up?"

"Better now. I'm so glad you're okay." Mika was beaming. "We can go find the others, and everything will be okay."

Carol nodded in agreement. "When we get there, I'm sure you're friends will be waiting."

"Friends?" Mika shook her head. "Family. Our family's waiting."

Carol just smiled, though inside she felt pain. Carol didn't have a family waiting for her. Mika was important to her, and Mika was the only family Carol had. Whether or not they made it to Terminus, Carol had her family. She didn't need anyone else, and she was happy.


	11. Empty Spaces

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

––

Daryl and Ty boiled the water over a fire, Remy and Bailey were messing around with one of the extra crossbows, Beth was bouncing Judith on her thighs and Carol was showing Mika how to clean a gun. Daryl was worried about her memory. He wasn't sure what that look she was giving him was anymore. He thought he knew, but he was wrong. What was going on with her? Did she even know who they were really? Was she just...going with it?

"Go talk to her," Ty interfered with Daryl's thoughts.

"Hmm?" He pretended not to know what Ty was talking about.

"Carol. Go talk to her."

"Why do you think I wanna talk to her?" Daryl looked up.

"You've been staring at her all day." Ty could sense Daryl's worry. Ty was worried too. They needed to know what Carol knew. Ty was going to ask Beth to talk to Bailey and Remy, see what they know.

Daryl did a few things, procrastinating the inevitable, and eventually he went over to Carol after Mika had gone to help Beth with dinner. He plopped down beside her, trying to make it as natural as possible, and he said nothing at first, though he felt Carol looking at him.

"So," Carol started, "when did it start?"

"Hmm?" Daryl asked.

"You've changed," Carol explained. "The last time I saw you, you were so distant, kept away from the rest of the people at the prison, but today...you're tending to Beth and the baby. I'm impressed. Happy, even."

"Always been like this," Daryl murmured.

"Not back at the farm or the quarry."

"You don't remember any of it, do you?" he whispered.

"Any of what? Your threats? You almost hitting me? You being rude to me?" She wasn't mad. She was annoyed. Why wouldn't he own up to it? Was he going to say that she forgot? There was no way. She would know if Daryl had apologized to her. He never did. He called her horrible things, blamed her for things, and he's acting like none of it happened? What the hell did he smoke?

She stood up and walked away from him, annoyed entirely.

He sighed. Son of a bitch.

"It's not your fault." Bailey stepped out from behind the tree, and Daryl looked at her. Up close, she looked nothing like Sophia. Her hair was more strawberry blonde and her freckles must have been just dirt, because she didn't have them anymore. Her eyes were bigger than Sophia's, her cheek bones higher. This was Bailey.

"What makes you say that?"

"'Cause I know what happened." She seated herself beside him.

"You do?" He shifted toward her. "What happened?"

"I went outside 'cause I heard a really loud crashing sound, and I saw Carol stumbling all over the place." Bailey could still feel the blood on her hands from when she touched Carol's head wound. "She was bleeding all over from a wound on the back of her head." Daryl paled a little. "I got Charlie to help her, so she'd live. He beat me for finding her, but it was worth it. She got us out. We're free now." The young girl smiled.

"How bad was it?" Daryl whispered.

"Real bad. She kept calling me Sophia, but when I asked, she didn't know who that was." The girl shrugged. "I figure she lost a lot of her recent memories."

Daryl swallowed hard. Carol didn't remember her own daughter? If Carol didn't remember the most important person in her life then there was no way she remember their relationship or how she felt about him. She's the woman he yelled at from the farm with the skills of Carol from the prison. All she knows about him is that he yelled at her, tried to hit her and never went after the daughter she doesn't remember. Does she remember Ed? How can she forget her little girl?

"Excuse me." Daryl walked away to clear his head and hunt some squirrels.

Beth wondered why Daryl looked so upset when he left camp, but she was ordered to rest her ankle, so she couldn't get up and ask. She would have to wait until he got back. She could wait. She would too. Daryl was like a brother to her, and—thankfully—she wasn't Merle, she would try to be there for him like a sibling. But only if he came to her or if Carol and Ty and Mika are asleep, so no one will stop her from marching—limping, really—over to him and demanding to know what's wrong.

Beth focused back on chopping the vegetables and found Remy in front of her. "What do you want?"

"To help. I enjoy cooking, and I've nothing else to do." He held out his hands for a potato and knife.

"I suppose." Beth handed him a knife and potato. "Toss it in the pot. Daryl's getting the meat, so we'll have stew."

He nodded. "It has to be better than burnt bread and rotten leftovers."

Beth paused. "Y'all had all those gardens. Why did you eat only that?"

"We weren't trying to escape, because it was fun."

"Sorry, I just—"

"I don't want to be won over with your sweet Southern ways and grammatically incorrect accent, thank you very much. I don't want to make a friend. I just want to protect Bailey."

"Well, you're doin' a good job at repealin' people. You're a real horse's ass."

"I thank ye kindly," he muttered, mocking her slightly, amused at her annoyance with him.

She took her anger out on the potatoes, Mika tried to be helpful, but all Beth did was hack at the potatoes. They didn't even have a shape by the time Beth was done. Beth felt such anger inside of her, not by Remy's words, but by all of the rage she'd held inside. What that man was going to do to her... What the Governor had done to them... And Andrew and Shane... She kept holding it in, trying to be the daughter her daddy wanted her to be, trying to be the young woman Judith needed to grow up with, but the rage inside of her was starting to come out. How much would it take to unleash all of it? Beth was more terrified by that than a herd of walkers. Who was she becoming? What was this world doing to her?

Daryl returned to camp at exactly the right moment, Beth and Remy had finished with the potatoes, and he handed them the rope of squirrels. He took Lil' Ass Kicker from her car seat and grabbed a jar of food from the bag. He sat down gently and set her on his upraised knees. He opened the jar and heard someone walking over to him. He realized he didn't have a spoon, and when he looked up, Carol was standing there, holding a spoon out to him.

"I was going to feed her, but here."

He took the spoon, their fingers brushing, and he noticed how quickly she pulled her hand back. He decided it was nothing and returned to feeding Judith, and Carol left. He was going to keep his distance as best he could. He didn't want to confuse her or try and force her to remember. If she remembered then that would be great. If she didn't, he would try to make her see... Hell, he didn't even know what Carol saw him before. He knew what he saw in her, but not once did he try to think about why she wanted him, cared so much for him. He was worthless all of his life and the day the world ended, his life became priceless. Everything happens for a reason. Likely.

––

They were a few hours away from Terminus, and they stopped for the night. None of them wanted to arrive at night, and Daryl was keeping watch while the others slept. Beth and Judy were in the backseat of the car, Mika and Bailey were in the front seats, Remy and Ty were sleeping by the fire, and Carol was sitting by the fire, not able to sleep.

Daryl was concerned. She hadn't moved for hours, and he was sure she hadn't eaten. She had been siting there staring into the fire, her gray-blue eyes reflecting the flames. She was obviously lost in thought, and Daryl wanted to know what she was thinking about. He would see her doing this near sundown, and when he woke up, he saw her doing it. What was going on in her head? Was she remembering? Forgetting? If she would answer, he would ask, but she wouldn't answer, because he was a stranger to her.

Daryl could see a little sun brighten the night sky now, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He saw movement and grabbed his crossbow, but it was just Carol. He lowered it instantly, muttering an apology. Carol didn't sit down. She hovered in front of him, thinking, and he frowned. "What?"

"Do you have time to talk?"

"Yeah."

"Walk with me? Once the others are awake."

He nodded, and she sat beside him. They waited in silence for the others to wake up. Ty was the first one up then Remy and Beth and then the girls. Carol didn't move once they were all up and preparing a small breakfast, and he almost asked if she changed her mind, but she stood up when he was about to ask and walked towards the woods. He followed.

"Don't say anything," she said softly, turning her head to look at him for a second then averting her eyes to the path before them. "I...know something's wrong, but I don't know what." He shouldered his crossbow silently. "There are...fragments that come when I dream," she explained, "and I think they're of my life. Some of them make sense...but most of them don't. Most of them are hazy in my dreams, and that make no sense. It's like walking through fog, and it's so confusing."

He glanced at her.

"What happened?" She stopped walking.

"What'd you mean?"

"To my arm. What happened? I don't remember, but...there are..." She sighed, not able to explain it.

"You got bit," Daryl told her. "I amputated it."

"When?"

"A while back. It was after we lost the prison."

"How?"

"Beth twisted her ankle, and you protected her."

She shook her head. "That doesn't feel...true."

"That's what happened."

"I don't doubt that or you, but... I don't know. I need time, and I need to try and figure out what happened to me." She took a deep breath. "I don't know where to start." She crossed her arms then lowered them. "I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going." She met his eyes. "Are you coming with me?"

Without a second thought, he said, "Yeah."

She didn't know why, but she really wanted him nearby. She smiled, and together they walked through the woods. They talked about everything, but her memories. Daryl wasn't hoping for this to mean anything. He was keeping his hope beyond low so if anything happened, it would mean that his old life was preparing him for more than surviving. His old life had given him nothing, so that he could have something important in this new life. If not, he wouldn't have to feel quite as much disappointment. He would be there for her and love her always. That seemed to be his curse: there, but never noticed.

By the time they returned, the others had everything packed up and were about to send out a search party. Beth smiled widely at the sight of the two of them, and Daryl ignored her beckoning and walked around to the driver's seat of the car to talk to Ty. Carol and Daryl decided to walk so the others wouldn't be crushed, and they wanted to talk. Ty didn't like it, but he agreed.

Daryl handed Carol a backpack with water, and they followed the car. Beth was watching them as best she could, but she kept having to duck, because Daryl would glare at her. She'd been waiting for this since the prison, and it was either watch them or listen to the girls play. She had no interesting choice, but at least she could try and warn them if walkers sneak up behind them.

"What do you expect to find?" Carol asked him.

"Find?"

"At Terminus. What do **you** expect to find there?"

"Aside from our people, I don't know." He didn't look at her. "What 'bout you?"

"A safe place for Mika to grow up. That's all that matters to me." Carol adjusted a strap to the backpack. "She's had a hard time, but who hasn't?"

"She'll be fine. She's tougher than she looks."

"I know." Carol was silent for a moment then looked back over at him. "You're taking care of her, right?"

"Hmm?" Daryl was confused. Her who?

"Beth. You're taking care of her."

"You've taken better care of her than me," he replied. "She's fine. She can take care of herself."

"Really?" He suddenly remembered her mixed memories. They were talking like before for so long, he'd almost forgotten.

"Yeah, she's capable."

"With you in her life, I don't doubt it."

He stopped walking and looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've seen the way she watches you," Carol answered, still walking, "and I've seen the way you look at her."

"Carol, it ain't like that."

"If no one knows, I won't tell anyone." She turned to face him. "It's your secret, and I'll keep it."

"No, it really ain't like that." He locked eyes with her. "She's just a kid."

"Young adult," Carol corrected.

"Whatever. You're missin' the point. I'm interested in someone else." He was starting to get frustrated. He wanted to grab her and yell that it was her and only had ever been her, but she wouldn't remember. He would push her away forever, and he couldn't risk that. If he couldn't be with her, he would at least be by her side. It both baffled and hurt him that she could stand there and talk about him being with Beth. Only days ago he was holding her in his arms and now she was out of his reach. That's how most things went in his life: good then life would remind him just how worthless he was. It happened so many times before, why did expect something good to happen with her? Did he expect they'd live happily? He was a fool. A god damned fool.

"There it is."

He looked up and saw them stopped a few feet ahead, Terminus just in front of them. He caught up with Carol, and they moved the car into the woods, getting their belongings. Bailey and Mika got Beth's bag while Remy helped her out of the car. Ty and Daryl were ready just in case this place was as bad as Woodbury, and Carol got Judith. Daryl kept the girls back, Beth didn't have a choice, because Remy was her crutch, and he was staying close to Bailey, but she kept her hand on her gun, just in case there were walkers or people who threatened them. Mika stayed close to Carol.

The yard was almost completely empty. There were two people inside: Maggie and a man they didn't know. Beth shot out of Remy's arms and ran inside, ignoring the pain in her ankle. Maggie turned and was tackled to the ground by Beth.

"Beth?" Maggie grasped her shoulders. "Oh, my God. Beth!" She pulled her into the tightest hug.

"Maggie!" Beth sobbed. "Maggie, you're okay!"

Daryl lowered his crossbow and opened the gate for them, entering after Mika and Carol. The man gave them a small welcoming smile, and he asked them to lower their weapons to the ground, their bags too. They did as they were told, the man searched them and their bags thoroughly, Maggie searched Beth, helping her to stand up and letting her lean against her. Maggie had seen her wrapped ankle, and she would find out what happened, but for now, she wanted them to see how the others were doing. She knew what Ty was feeling, and she wouldn't delay him seeing Sasha a second longer. They went to introduce them to Mary and see the others.

Daryl stayed very close to Carol as they entered the next area, and Daryl looked for Rick. He had to explain, but Rick wasn't there. There were strangers and food, but none of their people. Well, there was Bob.

"You're alive." Bob walked over to them, smiling.

Maggie helped Beth sit down, smiling still. "You must be starving. We'll get you something to eat." She stood up and she and Bob went to get them something to eat. They sat down at the tables, Daryl and Ty stood, and Carol sat beside Beth, their backs against the table.

"Daryl?"

They looked over as Michonne and Carl entered, and the look on Carl's face went from confused to happy to overjoyed. When he saw Judith in Carol's arms, his blue eyes filled with tears, and he dropped his head, trying not to cry, but he couldn't. His little sister was alive. Beth was right; Lori was looking out for her and him and their dad. He laughed a little. He was still big brother Carl. The weight that had lifted off his chest was unexplainable. He was...happy. He sniffed and walked over to them, Carol smiled at him as he approached, and he smiled back.

"Hey, Judy." Carl took her small hand in his. "Is she okay? Has she been eating?"

"She's just fine," Carol assured him. "You can hold her."

He nodded and wiped his eyes. "Thank you." He hugged Carol. "I thought I would never see her again." He pulled back and inhaled to calm himself. Distantly, he heard his dad and Glenn's voices. He turned as they rounded the corner, and he watched his father.

Rick's eyes landed on Daryl then the others, taking them all in, and he smiled. When his eyes came to Carol, he tensed, and then he didn't care, because in her arms was his little girl. He walked over to her and took Judith gently from her arms. He looked her over. "Oh, Judith." He held her close, kissing the top of her head and pulling Carl into the hug. They were together now, and they were all okay. He was sure that Hershel was up there, still looking out for his girls and Judith.

Glenn grinned at them. "What took so damn long?"

"I'll show you what took so long," Daryl threatened teasingly.

"Where's Sasha?" Ty asked when Maggie and Bob returned with food.

"Still sleeping. She had the night watch." Maggie sat on the other side of Beth. "Bob, will you show him?"

"Yeah." Bob set the plates he was holding down, and he led Ty back towards the rooms.

"Rick, I needa talk to you," Daryl said softly when Carl took Judith. "It's important."

Rick nodded. "I needa talk to her first."

Daryl grabbed his forearm. "No, you ain't." He pulled Rick a good distance away.

"What the hell are doin'?" Rick demanded.

"There was an accident," he explained. "Carol don't remember a lot of things, not even Sophia, so threatenin' her is only gonna confuse her."

Rick crossed his arms. "How am I supposed to believe that she forgot?"

"Trust me, I ain't lyin' 'bout this. Wish I was, but I ain't. She don't remember Ty or Bob, from the way she looked at him. She remembers the quarry and farm and bits and pieces of the prison, but people... It ain't all there."

"So, she doesn't remember killin' Karen and David?"

"No. Ty knows she did it," Daryl told him. "He forgave her. Or is tryin' to."

"She doesn't remember her own daughter?" Rick was trying to grasp this. "How about Ed?"

"Yeah, she remembers him."

"She obviously remembers Carl and me." Rick glanced over at them. He didn't buy it. Carol may have gotten into an accident, but how could she forget her daughter and remember her husband? How could she forget killing two people? She was either faking or momentarily forgot. She might have her memory back tomorrow or the next day, and he would talk to her then. Lord knows what she might teach to those kids.

"Where's Lizzie?" Rick looked at Daryl.

"Dead."

"Dead?" Rick felt sick. "How?"

"She...got bit."

"God." He looked at Mika, and she was smiling at Carol, and the other little girl. Children loved Carol, and without telling them what she'd done, there was no way to keep Mika and that girl away. Rick could keep an eye on Carl and Judith, but not them. Mika was Carol's, and that other girl appeared to be friends with Mika and Carol. He would just have to watch them.

"Leave Carol to me," Daryl told Rick, not giving him a chance to speak. "I'll introduce you to Remy and Bailey."

They joined the others, Remy picked Bailey up and sat her down so she'd eat, and he did the same with Mika, letting her have his seat. He went to get a plate for himself, Daryl stopped by the table were their group was talking and eating and smiling happily, and Carol stood up when Rick stopped beside his children and hugged him tightly.

Rick reacted immediately to the hug, but he didn't really respond for about two seconds. He hugged her, recognizing this woman only a little, and he was glad she was all right. He pulled back and saw her hand was missing, and he frowned. What the hell happened to them? Carol's memory's gone, her hand's been removed, and Lizzie's dead. What else happened?

Daryl pulled up some chairs for Ty and Sasha and himself, Rick sat by his children, and they all talked. Beth told them about the pecan groove and how it saved them, and Maggie told them about the tunnel that she made collapse and Bob's close call. They all had had their unfortunate moments, but they made it. Most of them, anyway.

"What happened to your hand?" Carl asked Carol.

"Uhh." Carol glanced at Daryl then back at Carl. "I got bit while protecting Beth. Daryl amputated it."

Maggie looked at Beth, and Beth nodded. "I twisted my ankle, and she saved me." Maggie set a hand over Beth's and started to forgive Carol a little. She couldn't handle losing her father and Beth. Thanks to Carol, she didn't have to, not today.

"Does it hurt?" Glenn rested his hands on the table. "We have medicine, if it does."

"I'm fine," Carol reassured them.

"Maybe you can do what Merle did," Carl suggested.

"Merle lost his hand?" Carol looked at Daryl. "When did that happen?"

"What?" Maggie and Glenn said.

"Showers?" Daryl changed the subject. "Do y'all got showers?"

"Yeah," Michonne replied, sensing Daryl had something he should tell them. "Carl, why don't you show them?"

"Okay." Carl handed Judith to his father and left with Carol, Mika, and Bailey.

Daryl explained her memory loss and about Bailey and Remy, Michonne had a bad feeling about that story, and everyone believed it. Carol had been acting strange, and none of them could put their finger on it. Now they understood.

Mary showed them to their rooms, Beth and Bailey and Remy were sharing a room, and Mika, Carol and Daryl were sharing a room, because Daryl had made it so. Mary seemed glad they were back together, but Rick, Daryl and Michonne noted the look she wore at the sight of Judith. They hadn't said anything, but they got the feeling they didn't want a baby there. Rick held his daughter closer when Mary walked over to him.

"We don't have anything for the child to sleep in," Mary informed him, "but Gareth and Allen will be going on a run, so they'll look for something."

Rick nodded. "Thank you, ma'am."

She left them, Maggie didn't want a stranger sleeping in the same room as Beth, but Beth assured her Remy was a decent guy. He was an asshole to everyone but Bailey, but he was a decent asshole. Maggie eventually let it go enough to stop talking about it and helped Beth preparing the room, and when Carol and the girls came back, Daryl and Beth showed them to their rooms. Beth and Carol both didn't unpack. They didn't feel like this was a home yet, and they were scared they would lose it just like the other places. They hid their bags underneath their beds then joined the others for the tour of Terminus.

One person was missing from the group, and Michonne and Daryl both wondered where **Remy** had wandered off to.

––

Carol tucked Mika into for the night then sat on Daryl's bed to remove her boots, the door opened as her second boot fell to the floor, and she looked over as Daryl entered. He dropped onto the bed behind her and rubbed the water out of his hair with the towel he'd had around his shoulders. He felt her move off the bed, and he flopped back, eyes closed, and Carol smiled to herself.

"Don't forget to put that in the hamper." Carol set her shoes by the door and flicked the main light off, leaving them only in candlelight. She sat down on her and Mika's bed. "You need a haircut."

"Nah." He shifted to lie properly on the bed, tossing the towel into the armchair.

She leaned over and placed a kiss to his temple, in the same exact spot as before. "Thank you."

He rolled over. "For what?"

"For proving me wrong." She met his eyes. "You aren't the same man I met, and I'm sorry for how I acted before. I look forward to seeing what I missed." She blew out the candle, lied down and rolled away from him, getting comfortable.

Daryl stayed on his back, and he smirked. _**I look forward to seeing what I missed.**_ She's still Carol, so perhaps he could help her to remember the scattered pieces of her she'd lost, and then maybe the pieces of them.


End file.
